Natural
by Sleep Walking Chicken
Summary: Sora's having trouble accepting his feelings, and it seems so natural, yet so frightening. When he comes to a realization and begins to avoid Riku, it only leads to more and more trouble for the both of them. [RikuSora] [completed]
1. Chapter 1

**Natural  
Chapter One**

_Author's notes:_ This is my first Kingdom Hearts story. It's a request for my friend, and while I'm not very active in KH fandom (and, admittedly, haven't beaten the game) I gave it my best shot. So, please forgive me for any misrepresentation of facts from the game and any crappy characterization. I tried my hardest!

---

"_I looked everywhere for you…"_

Sora stared at his ceiling with a dull expression, one he only really adopted after he'd just awoken from a dream. He blinked a couple times, trying to make sense of the light filtering through his window. Sighing slightly, the blue-eyed boy kicked his covers off and sat up, staring at the sunny day outside on the island. It was a plethora of sunlight and sparkles from the ocean and he blinked fuzzily, trying to cease the impending headache with a Herculean effort.

"I don't want to go to school," he decided to himself and flopped back down onto his pillow, trying to summon sleep back. It wouldn't come, but Sora hadn't expected it to. It was far too sunny and he'd forgotten to draw his blinds the night before.

Rolling over onto his stomach, he slowly sat up and stared at his wall this time, still only partially awake. With another small sigh, he finally managed to pull himself out of bed just as his clock turned over the hour. Seven in the morning. It should be a crime against humanity to have to awaken at that indecent hour.

Mumbling to himself in his half-sleep stupor, Sora quickly dressed into his school uniform, somehow flopped his way downstairs, ate the food his mother had left out for him, and exited his house in time to see Riku walking past, just as he did everyday.

"Hey," Sora called, a little more awake but still longing for his comfortable bed.

Just like every day before, Riku paused at Sora's gate and waited for him. Unlike Sora, he looked perfectly awake and dressed accordingly for the day. His clothes always looked crisp and clean, whereas Sora's looked like they'd been left unironed and left in a cluster of fabric on the floor. (Because they had.)

"How do you always look so clean, Riku?" Sora complained, walking beside his best friend with a slightly miffed expression, only skewed by the overpowering sleepiness in his eyes.

"I take a shower," Riku said helpfully, the perpetual frown creasing his lips.

Sora eyed his friend. "I meant your clothes. Also, Ishower too."

Riku chuckled quietly and they walked the rest of the way to school in a companionable silence. Once the school came into view, the two boys saw Kairi and Selphie approaching from the other side of the block and Sora waved energetically, at this point wide-awake after walking a mile to the school.

"Good morning," Kairi greeted warmly when the two boys were within hearing shot. Selphie voiced her greeting as well and waved before moving off to find Tidus and Wakka.

"Good morning!" Sora bubbled happily, smiling widely at Kairi.

"'Morning," Riku muttered, though he didn't look like he was actually having a good morning. He nodded politely to passing students who greeted him, but he looked sour and tired. He checked his watch and started moving away from the courtyard and towards the school entrance. "The bell's going to ring soon."

"We'll see you at lunch, Riku!" Kairi promised as the silver-haired boy disappeared around the corner, heading off to the upperclassmen's floor. Kairi turned to Sora, still smiling, and asked, "Shall we get to class, too?"

"Okay," Sora agreed and the two friends headed off to their own classroom.

Sora dreaded school with every fiber of his being. It seemed like Kairi and Riku settled in well to school life, catching up quickly with everything that they'd missed while being gone, but Sora still struggled. Sure, give him a keyblade and he could save the world, but Sora couldn't even conquer the simple rules of trigonometry. And by simple, he meant impossible.

He was far from being a model student, like Kairi. He was far from being a decent student, like Riku. He was struggling with every subject, except for gym, but Kairi would adamantly remind him that gym didn't really count as a rigorous subject. Sora would try not to pout because he always knew he'd beat her in the running they were all required to do. Kairi was brilliant in the classroom but was, frankly, below par when it came to strenuous activity.

Sora's favorite times of day were gym and lunch. Gym because it was the only class where he actually had decent grades in, and lunch because he could spend his time with Riku and Kairi. Most days, Riku would come down from the top level and sit with the two underclassmen in their classroom. They'd eat in a companionable silence, sometimes talking but most of the time just enjoying each other's company. Words didn't need to be spoken between the three for there to be understanding.

"Exams are coming up," Kairi reminded the two boys one day. Today, they were eating in Riku's classroom and were gaining some stares from the older students there. Riku didn't seem to care. "Are you guys ready?"

Riku gave a small shrug, as was typically the answer to all questions posed to him. He ate his food silently brooding down at his feet. Sora turned a distinct shade paler at the thought of final exams.

"You still have a month," Kairi reminded gently when she feared Sora would pass out. He dove headfirst into all sorts of danger without batting an eyelash, but the thought of examinations made the boy look sick. Kairi couldn't help but laugh sweetly at the thought. "Riku and I can help you, I'm sure."

Riku shrugged again, seemingly unbothered by Kairi nominating him for such an impossible task—and training Sora's in the way of mathematics and history was an impossible task indeed—and just finished off his food. Once the food was gone, he sat up straighter, crossed his arms over his chest, and observed his two friends.

"I don't want to trouble you," Sora muttered, embarrassed, but a small smile still on his face.

"It'll be more troublesome when you're in summer school," Riku said, one eyebrow raising imploringly. It was as if Riku had stabbed Sora in the heart, if the look he gave his best friend were any indication.

Sora looked properly scandalized. "Riku! You're so mean!"

"It's no trouble at all, Sora," Kairi reassured sweetly, smiling at her friend.

"Thanks," Sora said quietly. Kairi smiled and Riku stared at his feet.

"Well, the bell's going to ring soon," Kairi said, standing up and collecting her empty food containers. "Coming, Sora?"

Of course, in that moment, Sora had a huge amount of food in his mouth. He looked up at Kairi, still chewing and blinking his eyes. Kairi laughed and shook her head.

"Obviously not, oh well. I'll see you in the classroom," she reassured and waved. She smiled warmly at Riku. "See you after school, Riku."

The two boys waved while Sora continued eating, trying to squeeze in as much food as possible before the bell rang. Riku watched him for a moment before his lips quirked upwards into a tiny smile and he chuckled quietly. Sora gave him a look, trying to tell if Riku was laughing at him or not.

Riku reached out a hand and pulled something off his cheek. Still smiling, he explained, "Some food on your face."

Sora felt his cheeks turn pink and he grinned. "Thanks."

Riku flicked the offending piece of food off his finger and it went soaring off in some random direction. He brushed his silver hair away from his face and watched as Sora finished his meal.

"One of these days you're going to choke," Riku warned, one eyebrow quirked upwards. "You should be more careful."

"Buh," Sora said through his last mouthful of food. "You worry too much, Riku."

"The bell's going to ring," Riku warned and, sure enough, the bell rang moments later. It was a quiet chime through the PA system and students began filtering into the classroom. "You should hurry back. You know what happened last time you were late."

"Yeah, yeah," Sora said, remembering cleaning the chalk board and erasers. It had been boring and tedious, and, of course, Riku had sat at one of the desks and laughed at him the entire time without bothering to help him.

Sora stood and packed away his food quickly. He waved to Riku. "See you after school."

"Bye," Riku said as Sora darted from the room. Riku watched him go before resting his head in his palm, sighing quietly.

---

"And then yesterday I saw the same person walking by the store, only this time she was wearing a bright green parka, and why someone would wear a parka on the island is beyond me, but who am I to judge anyway, but she was walking by in her parka and that dog was following her and I was thinking to myself why does that dog love the lady in the green parka when I'm the one who gave him that bone a couple months ago and it got me to thinking that maybe the lady in the green parka is giving the dog twice as many bones every day which would make me look like a terrible person in comparison since I only gave him a dried steak bone whereas this lady in the green parka might be giving the dog juicy steaks along with the bones and I was really sad because I want a dog really bad and I really like that dog since he kind of reminds me of Pluto and—"

"My God, Sora, don't you ever stop talking?" Kairi butted in as she approached from the back of the classroom, her lunch in hand. She smiled in greeting at the visiting upperclassmen before sitting in a seat beside the two boys and giggling.

Sora abruptly ceased talking and Riku remained stoic as always, his head resting in his hand as he picked at his meal, listening to Sora blather on and on, as was per usual between the two boys. He shifted slightly, giving more room for Kairi to pull up to the desk.

"That was the longest sentence I've ever heard in my life," Kairi continued, laughing lightly, "How do you find time to breathe through all those words?"

"This is how it always works for them," Selphie supplied as she came up from behind Kairi, rubbing her eyes free of sleepiness she always acquired after finishing math class. "Sora talks nonstop and Riku sits and listens. You guys are like polar opposites."

"I don't know why you guys would hang out so much, seeing as how you're both totally different," Tidus volunteered boisterously as he frolicked his way to Sora's desk, not entirely sure what the conversation was about but still willing to add his two cents in. "Why do you hang out together, anyway? I mean, even when Kairi eats with us, you guys are always together, either Riku coming here or Sora going upstairs to the upperclassmen's floor."

"Isn't it obvious?" Riku asked, a small scowl on his face.

"It's because we've been friends for ten years now!" Sora declared happily, beaming like a kid at Christmas-time. "We're childhood friends, so something as silly as lunchtime couldn't keep us away from one another! Right, Riku?"

"Don't you think he's really noisy, Riku?" Selphie asked, rubbing one of her ears.

"… I'm used to it," Riku said after a pause.

"Hey!" Sora protested loudly. "That's so mean, Riku!"

"It's a fact," Riku countered, closing his eyes as if there were an annoying creature buzzing in his face.

"You're such a jerk," Sora said without malice, pouting slightly.

Riku rolled his eyes as Kairi, Selphie, and Tidus went off to where Wakka sat to enjoy their lunch together. Like always, the two boys denied the invite and preferred to sit beside one another in silence. Or, rather, silence sans Sora's boisterous recollections of trivial things. "So noisy."

---

"_Riku… Riku's here."_

It was the same dream again. He'd been having the dream almost weekly at this point. It wasn't so much a dream as it was his memories invading his sleep and reminding him of the journey long since completed. It was always the same scene. It was always Sora kneeling before Riku and crying for him.

Sora opened his eyes as the dream faded away but the memories stayed fresh and clear in his mind. He stared at the ceiling again with a dulled expression. He lifted his arm and blocked the sunlight from his vision—he'd forgotten to close his blinds again.

"Riku," Sora muttered before he could stop himself. He blushed at the realization and rolled over, stuffing his head under his pillow. "Why do I keep getting these dreams?"

The explanation was simple, at least, in Sora's mind. He was just happy Riku was here again. It was the only explanation. But revisiting that moment over and over again in his dreams kept him from really believing these thoughts. The dreams and his thoughts on the dreams were bordering the line between friendship and…

Sora shook his head quickly to rid himself of such a preposterous thought.

"I do not like Riku," Sora muttered, then, quickly amended, "Well, I like him. But I don't _like_ like him."

Even though he said this out loud it did little to appease his thumping heart. Whenever he thought of that time when he saw Riku again his heart hurt. It seemed to hurt more every time he thought about it—every time he thought about a world without Riku.

He rolled over onto his back again and frowned at his ceiling. The clock was warning him it was time to get up and get ready for the day, but his mind was muddled with his disbelief and his faulty reassurances of where his affections lie.

"I like Kairi," Sora said firmly to himself, but he only sounded partially convincing.

It made no sense. Entertaining the idea that maybe, just maybe, he liked Riku as more than his best friend, where did that leave Kairi? How could Sora just cast aside his feelings for Kairi as if they were nothing? No, he liked Kairi. He was sure of it. He'd always liked Kairi. He'd liked her ever since she first came to the island. Before their journey he'd drawn his hand with the paopu fruit and presenting it to Kairi. Sora knew that nobody did that unless they really liked the person. And, when the gate had closed, and he'd been separated from Kairi, he was almost absolutely certain that he liked Kairi then, too.

So when had it changed?

Of course, it hadn't. He didn't like-like Riku. There was nothing more to that. These dreams were just reassurances to his heart that Riku was here with him and to never forget how much Riku meant to him. Riku was a _guy_ anyway. He couldn't like-like him.

"I like Kairi!" Sora said more firmly this time.

"Nobody's saying you don't," a voice off to his left reassured and Sora jumped upwards into a sitting position to see Riku coming through his doorway.

"Riku!" Sora said, blushing brightly. "What are you doing in my room?"

"I was going to ask you the same question," Riku said and glanced at his clock. "You're late."

Sora looked at his clock, too, to see that he'd been thinking too much. He'd missed his rendezvous with Riku, as they did every morning, with Riku passing by his gate and Sora running to meet him.

"Sorry, I must have overslept," Sora lied, frowning.

Riku made a small noise in the back of his throat and dipped over, grabbing Sora's crumpled school uniform from the ground. He threw it at Sora's head and the blue-eyed boy just managed to catch it in time.

"Get dressed, sleepyhead," Riku commanded, smiling slightly. "I'll wait for you downstairs."

Riku left and closed the door behind him. Sora quickly dressed, his face still red from the interruption. He wondered how long Riku had been standing there, but reassured himself that it could only have been for a minute, enough time for him to hear his declaration of his crush. Sora quickly recounted in his head what he'd said to himself and felt reassured that he hadn't said anything incriminating.

Trotting downstairs, tie untied, shirt unbuttoned, and open bag clutched in his two hands, Sora met Riku in the foyer. He leaned against the wall casually and offered him a piece of toast.

"From your mom," he explained as he opened the door. Then he glanced over Sora's state of attire and raised one eyebrow. "You might want to fix that."

"Shut up!" Sora said through his mouthful of toast. He buttoned up his shirt with shaking fingers, jolted by adrenaline and mortification. The toast nearly slipped from his mouth as he muttered to himself. He left the tie. "I'll fix it at school," he told Riku, who was giving him a bemused look, "Don't look at me like that!"

"Suit yourself," Riku said and held the door open for Sora as he marched out with as much pride and dignity as a late-sleeping, crush-confessing, half-dressed boy could. Riku followed after him, shutting the door behind him.

They walked in silence towards the school. Riku glanced at his watch from time to time, but said nothing. Sora knew he was counting down the minutes until the bell rang and how late they were going to be. Sora frowned at his untied shoes. Riku didn't have to wait for him.

"Sorry," he said suddenly, swinging his book bag from side to side. "If you hadn't waited for me, you wouldn't be running late."

Riku shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't matter."

"But you keep glancing at your watch," Sora protested, frowning.

Riku shrugged his shoulders again. He shifted his own book bag and smiled lightly at Sora. "I don't mind waiting for you."

For some reason, the combination of Riku's gentle smile and his softly spoken words made Sora's heart jolt and his cheeks turn pink. He turned his face away, pouting slightly at his body's betrayal. He didn't like-like Riku. That was all there was to it.

If Riku noticed his behavior, he made no comment on it and continued on silently. They made it to school just as the final bell rang. Sora glanced at Riku, but he seemed unconcerned with his tardiness. Then he glanced down at Sora and their eyes locked. For some strange reason, Sora's heart jolted again.

"Your tie's still undone," Riku said, grabbing one end of the article of clothing and tugging. Sora's heart nearly stopped and then flopped down dead into his stomach. Sora grabbed the strand and tugged it out of Riku's fingers. Riku's eyebrows arched upwards but he didn't say anything. "I'll see you at lunch."

"Yeah," Sora muttered, tying his tie with shaking fingers and a red face. "See you."

"There you are," Kairi hissed when Sora finally entered their classroom three minutes later. He sat down quickly into his chair next to Kairi. "You're lucky. The teacher's late today, homeroom hasn't even started yet. Where were you guys?"

"I slept in," Sora confessed. "And Riku waited for me."

"He would," Kairi said to herself and shook her head. She tilted her head to the side and pointed at his tie. "Hey, your tie's crooked."

"It is?" Sora asked, glancing down. Sure enough, the tie was crooked.

"Let me," Kairi offered and grabbed his tie before repositioning it. Sora realized, with some dread creeping onto his face, that his heart stayed perfectly fine throughout this entire process. It didn't jolt, it didn't flop, it didn't do anything but beat at its normal pace.

Sora tried to reassure himself that it was just because Riku had been in his dreams lately. He was just happy he was okay. That was all. He liked Kairi.

"All better," Kairi reassured and patted Sora's shoulder. "Much better."

He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi. He liked Kairi!

He _liked_ Kairi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Natural  
Chapter Two**

"Ah, Riku!" Kairi welcomed the said boy with one of her bright smiles. "Good to see you."

"Are you… in trouble for being late?" Sora asked skeptically as the silver-haired boy flopped down beside his two younger friends.

"I got a detention after school," Riku said with a shrug, opening up his lunch. "It's no big deal, you guys don't have to wait for me."

"Of course we'll wait!" Kairi reassured. "We don't mind, do we, Sora?"

"Nope!" Sora reassured, grinning wide and biting into his food. "You can meet us here after your detention. I always hate having detention, but I was lucky and our teacher hadn't come in yet for homeroom, it's too bad that your teacher wasn't late too, Riku. What do you have to do? I bet you have to clean the chalkboards don't you, and it'll serve you right, you big jerk, because last time _I_ had to clean the chalkboards you just sat there and laughed at me so maybe I'll come by after school today and laugh at you—"

"Sora," Kairi injected, "stop talking so much."

"Sorry!" Sora said, embarrassed. He grinned at his two friends, one returning the smile and the other one frowning down at his feet. "I get carried away sometimes. We'll wait for you after school today, Riku."

Riku shrugged his shoulders. "Suit yourself."

---

"Riku smiles a lot more," Kairi said out of the blue, while the two were sitting in the empty classroom waiting for the said silver-haired boy. The sun was shining brightly outside through the large windows and Sora had to squint whenever he lifted his head.

Sora looked up from where he was struggling with the zipper to his book bag. The sun was bright in his eyes and he squinted up at her, unsure what Kairi was getting at. "What?"

"Riku. He seems a lot happier lately," Kairi explained, swinging her legs back and forth from where she sat on a desk in the back of the room. "When you two first… came back… he was… how should I explain this? He always looked lonely and sad. He didn't speak much and he so rarely ever looked happy."

"I remember," Sora said, more to himself than to Kairi. He paused in his pursuit of zipping his backpack closed and looked off towards nothing, recalling the memories of Riku when they'd first returned from the island. He'd smiled politely at times, but he was always staring off at the horizon and not speaking a lot.

Sora suspected he was still swimming in his memories of what he'd done. There were times when his eyes would speak of his uncertainty and his guilt. Sora and Kairi had long since forgiven him for everything, but he would still think of it. And sometimes, when Riku looked out at the horizon, Sora suspected that he was dreaming of more adventures.

Sora's eyes saddened and he returned to his backpack, not wishing to dwell on Riku for longer than he should. No, he visited his feelings for Riku far too much lately, especially with his strange dreams and his insecurities as of late.

Kairi continued, smiling secretly, "But he seems a lot happier now. It's almost been a year and a half since that time. He smiles more, especially when he's around you, Sora."

"What?" Sora asked, whipping his head up from his troublesome backpack. His cheeks turned a bright red at the implication in Kairi's voice. "What are you talking about?"

"He smiles a lot around you," Kairi said again, watching him with a gentle expression. "It's nice to see him happy again. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," Sora agreed quietly and his mind went back to his dreams from the World that Never Was. He blushed slightly for a moment before shaking his head. "He's happy around you, too, Kairi."

"I suppose," Kairi said, sounding like she was merely humoring Sora and not really agreeing with his words. "Maybe."

"Riku, he," Sora began, biting his lower lip slightly. "You're his friend, too, Kairi. You should give yourself more credit."

Kairi looked at Sora for a moment, her eyes wide and her brain wrapping around Sora's words. Then, her smile seemed to widen and the corners of her eyes crinkled in her amusement. She continued to swing her legs. She giggled and said, "I'm not the one he smiles for."

Sora frowned, wondering what Kairi could possibly mean by that. He peeked up at her suspiciously but didn't dare ask the magnitude of questions that tapped in his skull.

"Hey," a third voice said and Riku appeared in the doorway to the classroom. He glanced at his two friends, one sitting on a desk and smiling brightly, and another bent over his knapsack and blushing furiously. He knitted his brows. "You really did wait."

"Of course!" Kairi bubbled happily. She jumped off the desk. "Let's go. Come on, Sora."

"But my backpack…!" Sora protested. The zipper was still stuck. "It won't zip!"

Rolling his eyes, Riku stepped forward, tugged the knapsack from Sora's hands and examined the zipper for a moment. He zipped it up with a forceful tug before tossing it back to Sora. The boy caught it, his eyes wide in surprise.

Sora looked at him thankfully, smiling wide. Riku's eyes softened for a moment before he turned on his heel and exited the classroom. Kairi gave Sora a pointed look before following after the silver-haired boy. Sora slipped on his knapsack and was quick to follow his two friends.

The two boys said goodbye to Kairi as she headed off towards her house. She wished them a good night and a promise to see them tomorrow. After she'd turned her corner, Riku and Sora began their walk back towards their neighborhood. They walked in silence, as per usual, only Sora spent the majority of the journey staring at his feet with his cheeks a bright red. At one point, Riku's hand accidentally brushed Sora's, and that sent his heart into a flutter before he crossed his arms at his chest.

"How was detention?" Sora finally asked when the silence grew deafening. He glanced at Riku through his unruly bangs.

Riku shrugged one shoulder. "Boring. I just sat there."

"Oh," Sora said, for lack of anything better to say. He shuffled his feet against the sidewalk, kicking at stray pebbles.

"So what were you and Kairi talking about when I came in?" Riku asked, eyebrows rising towards his hairline. He had one of his tiny smirks on his face, and Riku's archetypical arrogance glimmered in his eyes. But, there was something else in his eyes that Sora couldn't quite place.

"What do you mean?" Sora asked, noting the expression with some hesitancy.

"Kairi was practically glowing and you looked embarrassed," Riku said offhandedly, looking out towards the horizon. "Did you finally tell her you liked her? Good for you."

"No! I didn't!" Sora protested, whipping his head up and his face still bright red. "I didn't say anything!"

"Did she tell you she liked you, then?" Riku pressed, looking genuinely curious now.

Sora felt like his face was going to explode from all the blood rushing to his cheeks. He could feel his ears growing hot and he stumbled over his next words, feeling flustered and ridiculous. His mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Riku came to a stop on the sidewalk and Sora nearly rammed his shoulder into his. He stopped suddenly, tipping his head upwards and staring at Riku dead on in the eyes. Riku's eyes were questioning. Sora had no idea what his own eyes looked like.

"She didn't," Sora finally managed to say.

Silver hair spilled over Riku's shoulder as he tipped his head to the side in thought. He frowned, his eyebrows slanting downwards. "You don't have to lie to me, Sora."

"I'm not!" Sora protested, feeling like he might start crying for all the frustration building up. His fingers trembled and he shifted from foot to foot. "Neither of us told the other anything."

Riku didn't look convinced, but, upon seeing Sora's face, decided to drop it. He shrugged his shoulders, his face turning sour and moody. "Whatever."

He began walking, quickening his pace so Sora had to trot to keep up with him. Sora tried to keep up with him, looking beside himself.

"Riku!" he whined, his eyes wide. "Why are you mad? Slow down."

"I'm not mad," Riku reassured, though his face and his tone of voice suggested otherwise.

"Riku!" Sora called again as the distance between the two seemed to lengthen. "Riku, come on! Stop! Riku!"

Riku halted suddenly, turning around to face Sora, just in time for the shorter boy to run into his chest. He bounced off and skidded to a halt, staring at Riku with large eyes, looking like he'd just been kicked. Riku's frown intensified and he sighed angrily, jerking his head away, frowning at the pavement.

He pressed a palm over his left eye, his fingers tapping against his forehead. He didn't say anything for a long moment. Sora watched him breathe in and out slowly, not saying a word and looking like he was ready to punch something. Sora fidgeted, fiddling with his fingernails nervously.

"… Sorry," Riku finally said, releasing a large sigh and shaking his head. His shoulders sagged. "Never mind. It's nothing."

"Riku…" Sora began but Riku had already turned around and was walking away. Sora's heart jerked and he followed after the boy, grabbing onto the crisp white shirt of his uniform. "Riku, wait."

Riku did as he was told, pausing and glancing at Sora over his shoulder. "What?"

Sora stared at where his hand was gripping Riku's shirt tightly, his knuckles white. He swallowed and shook his head. "Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you," Riku reassured, his voice suddenly soft. He turned around, prying Sora's hand from his shirt. Sora's heart leapt into his throat as his large fingers enclosed over Sora's hand. Riku smiled, but it looked sad and lonely—like when he'd first returned to the island.

Sora worried his lower lip, staring up at Riku. He glanced down at their joined hands and swallowed. He lifted his head again and met Riku's eyes. His heart was beating faster and faster, and he felt beside himself.

"Riku… I…"

They stared at one another, and Sora faltered his words. Riku looked at him curiously, flurries of emotions dancing in his eyes—for Riku always had expressive eyes—and watching him earnestly, as if anticipating his words.

"I have a question," Sora said.

"I have an answer," Riku replied easily, shrugging one shoulder. "Hopefully."

"Riku… what if, you know, you liked someone but…" Sora paused, trying to collect his words, cursing his vocal cords when they knotted stubbornly in his throat. He tried again. "I have this friend…"

One of Riku's thin eyebrows arched upwards, and he shifted his position into a disbelieving stance, one hip jutting outwards in slight annoyance and curiosity at what this "friend's" problem could be.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, I have this friend and everyone says he likes Kairi," Sora began, fidgeting with his fingers as he looked up at Riku's towering figure—just when had he gotten so tall, anyway?—and trying to collect his words. "But, now he isn't so sure."

Riku's curious expression was quickly darkening and he frowned. "Who are you talking about?"

"Someone I know," Sora protested and looked away, unable to meet Riku's inquisitive eyes. "I'm concerned for him, that, he's, you know, making a mistake or confusing his feelings for something that it isn't."

"I'm not sure what you're trying to get at," Riku admitted. "What kind of friend is this?"

"Well, you, Riku," Sora said, deciding a change of tactics was in order. Perhaps Riku could help him by imagining his own feelings working in turmoil. "You like Kairi, don't you? But what if, suddenly, you thought that maybe you didn't like Kairi quite as much as you thought and, instead, the feelings you felt for Kairi were directed at—at somebody else?"

"We're talking about me?" Riku asked, crossing his arms and withdrawing from Sora slightly. If Sora had been paying attention, he would have detected a hint of nervousness in the taller boy's voice. As it was, Sora was too busy uncovering his own feelings to take note of Riku's expression.

Sora, oblivious, continued. "Well, sure. I mean, how do you know the feelings you feel for that… other person… are even real? That you're not just deluding yourself?"

Riku's eyes narrowed and he withdrew further, giving Sora a politely reserved expression. "Deluding?"

"Yeah!" Sora continued, failing to recognize the flashes of hurt and defiance in Riku's eyes. Sora was pacing now, swimming in his thoughts and trying to grasp onto something. He wanted Riku's advice, and he was listening. "That maybe it's just fleeting? These feelings can't be real, you know? Because Kairi's always been the center of those feelings and for it to suddenly disappear like that is selling her short."

He was no longer speaking the theoretical, but, rather, about himself. He continued walking in a small circle as he drew closer and closer to his conclusion, unaware that with each step Riku's eyes grew more pained.

"So, these feelings can't be real, they've go to be superficial, just a diversion from the real feelings." Sora patted his heart and felt significantly cheered. There was no way he could like Riku! He was just being silly. Riku was his best friend and he cared about him very much, and he was happy that Riku was back here with him and Kairi. That was all. It wasn't a _like_-like situation at all!

He felt so relieved, he turned towards Riku, grinning widely.

"Right?" he bubbled out until he saw Riku's expression for the first time during his tirade. He shrunk back half a centimeter, giving Riku a wide-eyed look. "Riku, what's wrong?"

Riku stood there, his arms crossed, his face darkened, and his eyes hurt. He quickly turned his face away, staring at the horizon, hiding his eyes beneath the shadow of his bangs. He couldn't begin to fathom what that expression meant.

"You should get inside," Riku urged tensely and jerked his head to his left. He looked strained and pulled thin, and his eyes reflected twin chips of ice. Sora glanced over, and, sure enough, he was in front of his house, the gate opened welcomingly. "I'll see you tomorrow, Sora."

"Riku…" Sora began, but Riku had turned on his heel and was continuing down the sidewalk. Sora watched him go, the light reflecting off Riku's silver hair and his footsteps slowly fading away.

Riku was angry, and saddened, by something. Sora recalled the conversation in his mind, but he couldn't figure out where the aggression from earlier had come from, nor where that sudden, undeniable sadness had arisen as well. He swallowed thickly, feeling thousands of unspoken words slowly sink back down into his heart. Sora watched Riku until he turned a corner and disappeared. Even then, Sora didn't go inside.

_Why is Riku mad?_ Sora thought to himself, feeling weakened from the encounter. He also wondered why his heart hurt so badly, but he didn't dwell on that, fearful of what his answer would unveil.

With a feeble sigh, Sora walked to his house and into his room, his mind still heavy with thoughts of Riku.

---

_Sora dropped to his knees, gripping the hand. He felt the swish of wind as the figure before him turned around to face him. "Riku… Riku's here." _

_The figure didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. Sora was crying too much to hear what he was saying. "I looked everywhere for you…!" _

_And, through the darkness, he felt a gentle voice tell him, "Come on, Sora. You've got to pull yourself together."_

The dream awoke Sora again and he blinked his eyes, staring dully at the ceiling, just like he did every day. His mind dwelled on the dream. He remembered the feeling of Riku's form dissolving from the darkness, taller than he remembered, with longer hair than he remembered, and the blindfold over his eyes. He dwelled on that overpowering sense of relief he felt when he realized he'd finally found Riku. He dwelled on that overpowering sense of happiness when he finally heard his voice again.

Sora glanced at his clock. He'd woken up earlier than normal. He sat up, his head heavy from his dream. He felt as if he'd been scattered throughout the room. There was something missing, and his heart felt empty. He drew his knees to his chest. If he were to admit what he was feeling, something would be different.

He breathed in slowly and closed his eyes, recalling everything that had happened over the course of his journey, after the reunion with Riku. It seemed surreal, like all of it was just a dream. But he knew better, and his heart knew better, too.

_I guess…_ Sora finally decided, after a long moment. _That… I do like…_

He stopped himself, unwilling to admit it, even now. One question circled through his mind: What about Kairi? What about Kairi? What about Kairi?

Sora couldn't understand where his hesitancy was coming from. What _about_ Kairi? She was his first love, but did he love her even now? Did he still like her as much as his younger self had?

He didn't like Kairi anymore, or, at least, not as much as he once had. He couldn't deny that. Kairi was and always would be his first love, but she wasn't the one he yearned for anymore. He remembered his words from yesterday with Riku and knew he'd been deluded about his feelings for Kairi.

He groggily stood up from his bed and pulled on his clothes in a half-awakened state of mind. He didn't seem aware of his own actions, so robotic were his movements. Yawning loudly, he trotted downstairs, ate his breakfast, and exited his house.

Riku wasn't there. Still yawning, he leaned against the gate. He was early today. He glanced down the street and up the street, but there was no sign of Riku.

With his few moments of solitude, Sora's mind returned, once again, to his memories from the World that Never Was. He tried to think of when he'd first reunited with Kairi. He'd been happy, of course, but he realized, with some disdain towards himself, that his reunion with Riku had made him feel happier and complete.

He jolted with that thought, standing up a bit straighter. When had this shift changed? When had he started to like Riku more than Kairi? But was that what was happening? Sora hated being confused, and being confused was a common occurrence with him. But, typically, his problems didn't occupy this much of his time and leave him feeling empty and alone.

Something bopped the top of his head and Sora raised his head, blinking up at Riku.

"What are you doing out so early?" Riku questioned, book bag in hand from where he'd hit Sora softly. Sora blinked at him and Riku frowned in confusion. "Spacing out, I take it?"

"I wasn't spacing out!" Sora protested, looking slightly miffed. "I was just thinking."

"Pretty dangerous for you," Riku joked, looking tired.

"Hey!" Sora protested, and rubbed his head where Riku had hit him belatedly.

Riku grinned and Sora felt his heart shrivel up in his chest and his stomach wobble helplessly. He was no match against Riku when he smiled. He felt his knees quake and, despite the heavy weight of his thoughts, Sora found himself laughing and his own lips pulling back into a smile. He couldn't resist against Riku.

Sora gripped his stomach and twisted, trying to urge that wobbling feeling away. He felt as if the butterflies were waging an epic battle in his belly, complete with bombs and large swords pounding against his insides. The butterflies were eating each other, too, until he felt as if he may collapse. They weren't even butterflies; they were a fleet of battling moose. And all because of Riku's smile.

"Sora, what's wrong?" Riku asked, and his gentle voice reminded him of his dream and he felt his knees shake.

"It hurts," he grunted, doubling over.

Riku touched his shoulders and it sent a spark of electricity up and down his spine and he shivered deliciously at the warm, welcomed feeling of Riku standing near him. He reached up his hands and gripped Riku's forearms. Hesitantly, he lifted his head and looked up at the silver-haired boy, who was staring down at him in confusion and concern.

"… You look nice today, Riku," Sora finally managed to say, and grinned cheekily.

Riku stared at him for a moment before he laughed uneasily and shook his head. "You suck, Sora."

With that, he took a step back and Sora missed the warmth the older boy brought with him. Very quickly he realized what was happening and shoved those feelings and thoughts away, trying to deny they ever really existed. He stood up straight again and laughed stupidly.

"I'm sorry, I must have eaten too much for breakfast," he explained, glad to have an excuse that worked. Sora highly doubted saying 'your smile was just too wonderful' would suffice as a reasonable explanation for his utterly girlish behavior.

"Come on," Riku coaxed, amusement laced in his voice and his eyes warmed from his smile. "Let's get to school."

"Okay," Sora agreed, closing his gate behind him as he fell in step beside Riku. He felt strange. It'd been a long time since Kairi's smile had made him feel so light and happy. For how long had Riku's smile caused this shift in him? Somberly, Sora tried to think of when he'd started feeling helpless against Riku's smile.

"Still thinking of your friend?" Riku asked, and his voice was tense.

Sora looked up at him in alarm, wondering if it was as obvious as Riku suggested. He swallowed and shivered, even though it wasn't cold outside.

"Yes," Sora admitted.

"Still think your friend is deluding himself?" Riku continued, the smile on his face tense and unnaturally thin.

"I'm not sure," Sora admitted and Riku's pseudo-smile evaporated like rain on the island. The spiky haired boy tapped his chin in thought. "It would be… troublesome if the feelings were directed to somebody other than Kairi, especially troublesome for me."

Riku's shoulders tensed.

"But I can't deny that the feelings are there. I know they're there," Sora continued, unheeded by Riku's stance.

"And how do you feel about those feelings?" Riku asked hesitantly.

Sora paused and looked up at his best friend. He stared at him for a long moment, but, yet, found himself unable to look Riku directly in the eyes. He was afraid Riku would see right through him and see where this dilemma was coming from.

"Does it… bother you?" Riku asked when Sora didn't answer.

Sora blushed and looked away. "I don't know," he admitted. "I just don't know, Riku."

There was a tense silence as the two friends continued walking, but Riku did not speak again. It was a long, tense walk to the school's courtyard. He felt as if Riku were staring right through him, aware of his feelings and saying nothing. What could he do? Was he too opaque? Could Riku see what he was trying to hide, even from himself?

He clenched his eyes shut as he walked, unable to summon the courage to look up at Riku again.

There was no avoiding it, Sora realized and he clutched his head, his fingers burying into his hair. He realized, belatedly, that Riku had stopped and was looking at him, calling his name out in concern. He also realized, belatedly, that he was at school and Kairi and Selphie were looking at him worryingly, too.

Riku was touching his shoulder and it sent a wave of butterflies through Sora's stomach. His knees shook as Riku bent over him, trying to figure out what was wrong with him and why he wasn't responding to his voice at all. Riku was shaking him now, but Sora couldn't respond. He had to pull himself together and admit what was right in front of his nose.

_I like Riku!_

Now that he'd finally admitted it to himself, it felt as if a weight had lifted off his shoulders. But, only to be replaced by an even heavier burden. He _liked_ Riku. Riku, a guy. Riku, his best friend. Riku, who could never, ever know.

"Sora!" Riku kept saying. "Are you okay?"

He jerked away from Riku, his eyes wide. "I'm fine!"

Riku didn't look convinced, and Sora didn't blame him. Kairi and Selphie looked much like Riku. Riku's eyes were wide and he was trying to grab Sora's shoulders again. Sora took steps back and, looking around wildly, tried to find a decent way to escape.

"D-don't touch me. I'm o-okay! I… I got to go!" Sora shouted and took off like a bat out of hell.

Riku, Kairi, and Selphie watched him go, their eyes wide and confused. Kairi noted Riku's hurt expression, deep and painful. She turned her attention back towards where Sora had disappeared.

"What was that about?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Natural  
Chapter Three**

"Ack," Sora said to himself as he came into the classroom during lunchtime. He'd gone to the bathroom during the last few minutes of math class and realized, with some distaste, that, upon his arrival, Riku was sitting in his typical spot with Kairi, and the two were talking over their lunchboxes. How dare they carry on as if this were a normal day?

Of course, they were unaware of Sora's epiphany, and he swore to any God listening that he was going to keep it that way, so how were they to know of Sora's inner dilemma? Of course, Riku probably had an idea after his spastic retreat earlier that day and their last two conversations.

Sora quickly darted into the supplies closet in the back of the room, where students stored their jackets and teachers stored classroom supplies. He clutched his heart and leaned against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. He couldn't face Riku. He was like an open book, and the two would know instantly that he liked Riku. He was too easy to read.

"What do I do?" Sora muttered to himself. He couldn't ignore Riku forever. Above it all, they were still best friends, even if he harbored a deep affection towards the taller boy. What was he supposed to do?

"There you are," a voice said, jolting Sora from his stupor. He jumped a foot in the air and turned to see Kairi.

"K-Kairi! I'm not here!" Sora burst out before diving behind a light summer jacket one of his female classmates had hung up. "Shh, don't tell Riku."

"I'm not going to tell Riku. He got called out by a girl in his class," Kairi explained and Sora's eyes widened. "Why are you being such a weirdo? I saw you jump in here as soon as you set eyes on Riku. What's up with you two?"

"Nothing's up," Sora lied, "You're just imagining things, Kairi."

Kairi frowned. "I don't believe you."

"Well, you should," Sora muttered, sounding unconvincing and knowing it.

"Did Riku do something to you?" Kairi asked, sounding curious and concerned. Knowing Kairi, the girl would willingly rise to Sora's defense should the need arise.

Sora shot up like a firework and shook his hands quickly. "N-no! No! He didn't do anything! Riku wouldn't do anything to me. It's just…"

"It's just what?" Kairi asked, sounding even more concerned now.

Sora drooped and sighed. "I can't tell you… it's just… complicated."

"Are you okay? I mean, you looked really terrified this morning," Kairi prodded gently, wishing to extract more information from Sora if she could. "Riku and I were really worried. He looked like he wanted to chase after you."

"Everything's fine. I just remembered I left some homework in the classroom yesterday and I wanted to make sure it was still there," Sora lied. Kairi didn't look convinced, but she did not pursue the truth behind Sora's lie, and, for that, Sora was eternally grateful.

"Riku'll be glad to hear it," Kairi said gently, her face softening as she smiled at her friend.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Kairi began, and bit her lip, collecting her words carefully. "He looked really worried this morning when you suddenly ran away from him. And, you told him not to touch you. Are you sure he didn't do anything to you, even unintentionally?"

"I'm sure," Sora insisted, his cheeks turning a bright pink. "I hadn't meant to make him worry."

"Sora, you're going to make a lot of people worry if you stand there stupidly for two minutes before suddenly exploding into a whirlwind of energy, shout at Riku to not touch you, and then dash off into the school. Selphie was beside herself, wondering if you'd caught some kind of disease."

Sora felt his heart crack under the pressure of Kairi's words. He hadn't meant to make them worry, especially not Riku. In his mind's eye he could just picture Riku's distraught face as it followed the hastily retreating boy. It made him flush in shame. He cleared his throat and whispered, "Sorry."

"We're fine," Kairi reassured, "though you should probably explain to Riku."

"Maybe," Sora said softly. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to face Riku right away. If he spoke to him, he might end up saying things that Riku's ears weren't meant to hear, or, worse yet, Riku would _see_ the emotions in his eyes and be able to tell right away of Sora's improper thoughts.

"If you need to talk to me, Sora, you know where to find me," Kairi said soothingly, sensing her friend's distress. She sneezed softly when Sora scooted out from behind the coat and knocked some dust into the air.

Now out from behind the jacket, Sora rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks, Kairi."

"Come on, let's go eat lunch. Riku won't be there, I promise."

"Yeah, where'd you say he was again?" Sora asked as they both emerged from the closet and sat down at his desk to each their lunch. Riku's stuff was gone, and there was no sign of the silver-haired boy. Sora tried to ignore the way he wished Riku would show up. He didn't need Riku around, not now, at least.

"A girl called him out. He's probably being confessed to," Kairi said offhandedly. It was such a common occurrence, she didn't even bat an eyelash anymore. But this time, however, Sora felt like his chest would implode on itself. He clenched his fists and hoped that Kairi hadn't noticed how tense he'd suddenly gotten. He swallowed thickly.

"Oh…" he managed to say after some struggling.

---

The days passed by slowly, all the while Sora either avoided Riku or said very little to the boy. Every morning, he would still walk with Riku, for he couldn't bring himself to break tradition and because he wanted to be by Riku despite his fear of rejection, but there was always a huge separation between the two boys. Both literally and figuratively. They didn't walk in comfortable silence as they used to. Sora knew that Riku noticed the strained moments between them, but he never commented on them. He didn't want Riku to hear what he had to say, what he was keeping locked deep inside his heart.

Sora was going insane with his crush. He didn't want Riku to find out, so he found it best to avoid him. But, at the same time, he couldn't stand being too far away from Riku. The silver-haired boy scowled a lot more now, and he seemed tense with Sora and Kairi when the three of them were together.

Sora was almost at his wit's end. He just didn't know what to do or where to go from here.

"Ah, Sora!" Kairi waved Sora over after class one day, smiling benignly. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm on cleaning duty today, but I promised the class president I'd drop these papers off in the main office—"

"Not to worry, Kairi!" Sora bubbled joyously, forcing a normal moment of sanity wherever he could, "I'll drop them off for you."

"Thank you so much," Kairi said, and meant it. She smiled widely and handed the large pile of papers to Sora. She took a step back and tucked some hair behind her ear. She was so cute, why couldn't he like her like he used to? Sora tried not to dwell on these thoughts. Unaware of Sora's inner thoughts, Kairi continued, "Be careful not to drop them, okay?"

"I'm not _that_ clumsy!" Sora protested, looking scandalized.

Kairi laughed lightly, and her laughter sounded like a chorus of singing bells. "Sometimes you are, Sora."

"Yeah, yeah," Sora muttered.

"I'll talk to you later, be careful on your way home!" Kairi warned before turning on her heel and heading towards the supplies closet where the cleaning supplies were stored.

"Bye!" Sora called over his shoulder as he left the room, carrying the heavy pile of papers towards the main office. He hummed to himself happily, his spiky brown hair swaying in time with his steps. "Kairi's so nice," he told no one in particular, "I hope she doesn't overwork herself."

_Why can't I like Kairi instead? Things would be so much easier if that were the case,_ Sora thought to himself as he walked, a cloud of melancholy overshadowing him. He clutched the papers tightly. _Why do things have to be this difficult?_

Suddenly, a girl burst from a door and almost slammed into him. Sora braked just in time to save the papers from an untimely and unorganized demise.

"Hey!" he said, jumping back as the girl, tears in her eyes, rushed past him. "W-wait! Are you okay? Please, wait!"

The girl didn't wait, but, instead, raced onwards and turned a corner before Sora could recognize who it was and pursue her. He was just about to set down the papers anyway and chase after her when—

"Sora?" someone asked from behind him.

"Wha!" Sora explained loudly in surprise as he dropped the papers anyway and they scattered across the floor in a huge wave of mess. "Oh no…!" He turned away from the mess, frowning. He kept his distance from Riku, his heart already pounding not from surprise but from his close proximity to Riku. "Riku, look what you made me do!"

"What are you doing here?" Riku asked, one eyebrow cocked upwards. He seemed wary of Sora's behavior, too, and kept his distance from the boy.

"I was delivering some papers to the main office for Kairi," Sora explained, looking upwards towards the taller, older boy. He rubbed the back of his neck. "Now I've got to pick it all up. Thanks a lot, Riku."

"Hm," Riku grunted.

"But wait!" Sora said, his voice loud and carrying down the empty hallway. "What were you doing with that girl? Why was she crying?" Riku gave him a dry look. "Oh, I know! She confessed to you, didn't she?"

Riku said nothing, which was good enough for Sora to know what'd taken place. Riku turned away with a huff, looking embarrassed. Sora forced a grin, but his only thought was, _I know how that girl feels._

"Aha! I'm right!" Sora beamed, trying to force some normalcy between them. But it only seemed unnatural. "What'd you do?"

"I rejected her," Riku said bluntly.

"What? Seriously? What did you say to her?" Sora asked, blinking.

He stared down at the blue-eyed boy crossly. "I don't like you. I can't accept your confession."

Looking down at him, it seemed as if Riku were speaking directly to Sora, and it made his stomach wobble pathetically and his hands grow clammy. He looked away from Riku's intense face, unable to stare into those eyes any longer. Then his words sunk in, and he realized why the girl had been crying.

"But, Riku, you shouldn't be so mean to girls!" Riku gave him a strained look and Sora was quick to nod his head eagerly. "Yeah! Sometimes you're way too blunt, and it's even worse when you're scowling like that!"

"I don't want to lead them on," Riku said simply.

"Sure, of course not, but you can also be nicer to those girls, too, right? You should be gentler," Sora scolded with a nod of his head. "I mean, how else are you ever going to get a girlfriend if you're not nice to girls?" He laughed uneasily. "I don't want to be stuck with you forever until we're both grumpy, dateless old men!"

He laughed again, trying to joke and force something natural between the two boys. Everything felt so artificial. He wished for the ease and gentleness he used to share with Riku, where just a simple gesture was enough. Now he felt forced and awkward. It wasn't supposed to feel like this.

Riku's face grew tense for half a second and he stood in silence. "Sure," he said after a stressed pause. "I get it."

_Huh?_ Sora wondered to himself, then quickly shook his head.

"Great! I'm glad you understand!" Sora said, beaming. "Riku'll have no problem getting the girl he likes."

Riku looked away from him, looking out past the windows and to the sky beyond. He was frowning and looked as tensed and expressionless as ever. "Maybe."

That look made Sora's heart hurt. But he quickly pushed it away, trying to tuck it behind his heart and away from the prying thoughts in his mind.

"You'll do great." With a new vigor, and pushing the thought of Riku's expression from his mind, Sora began patting Riku on the head. He stood on the top of his toes in order to reach the taller boy's head, but it was worth it to see the barely constrained annoyance on Riku's face.

"Don't do that," the silver-haired student muttered, looking moody like he always did. Sora forced a strangled laugh.

---

_Riku will always like me, won't he?_

The thought came so suddenly to him that Sora nearly fell over. He'd awoken from another one of his dreams in the World that Never Was. He paused while trying to pull on his pants when the thought of came to him. Riku was his best friend, and he knew, after everything they'd been through, the fact that Sora had a crush on him would not prompt Riku to stop being friends with him. Right?

Significantly cheered by that thought, Sora rushed through his morning routine and was there waiting for Riku when he turned the corner. The silver-haired boy seemed surprised to see Sora standing there, smiling at him warmly. They'd tip-toed around one another so often it was a miracle to see Sora standing there and smiling at him, meeting his eyes as he approached.

"Good morning, Riku!" Sora said cheerfully. "Look, I'm early today!"

"You're also rather cheerful," Riku said conversationally as he began his walk towards school, Sora trotting slightly behind and beside him. Then he asked, sourly, "Are you going to still act like a moron today?"

"What do you mean?" Sora questioned, genuinely curious. "I'm not a moron!"

"Don't act coy," Riku muttered, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Sora swallowed. "You've been avoiding me."

"No I haven't!" Sora protested too quickly, his face flushing in shame. He was about to say more, but one look at Riku's face made the words in his throat die a premature death. He swallowed thickly, feeling himself flounder for something to say.

Riku's face was tensed and he was frowning deeply, as if whatever he was thinking about caused him great anger and loathing. He halted quite suddenly and Sora almost ran into him. The taller upperclassmen turned and stared down at Sora, his face tight. He didn't say anything for a long moment before he reached out a hand towards Sora.

The reaction was almost instant, as soon as fingers touched his skin it was as if he'd been set on fire. Sora whipped backwards, his eyes widened and his heart beating. He felt his cheeks turn pink and he turn his face away quickly so that Riku wouldn't see his reaction. He didn't want Riku to know! He couldn't know.

Riku's tensed look blurred between anger and sadness, and Sora tried to force the blood from his cheeks. Riku's smile was sad. Sora's heart hurt from seeing it on his face.

"Don't insult my intelligence, Sora," he said finally, his body seeming to deflate under the pressure of the words he could not speak.

Sora blushed and continued looking away. "Sorry."

"Are you going to tell me why you've been acting so strange lately?" Riku questioned, acting as if he hadn't heard Sora's apology. "I think I deserve the truth, don't you think?"

Sora's fists clenched and he wished, with all his heart, that he could be honest with Riku. But, despite his belief of always having Riku's friendship, that didn't stop him from being so completely _terrified_ of what he might lose. He stared at Riku's face, haggard and weary, and he wished that he could tell Riku the world and knowing that he could only offer him a puddle. A small, dirty, muddy, insignificant puddle.

He tried to speak and the words caught in his throat, trying to morph and change into other words, and he fought against it as valiantly as he could muster. Sora shook his head, very slowly, giving Riku a pleading look. Pleading with him to understand. "I can't tell you."

"Fine," Riku said and continued walking towards the school, his pace quick enough to make Sora have to half-jog to keep up.

Sora didn't blame Riku for being angry. They both hated secrets. He knew deep down that Riku would always be his friend—they'd gone through too much for it to be any other way—but that didn't mean he wasn't still afraid of what would happen if Riku knew Sora liked him. Would that simple easiness they had before simply drift away? Or was his stupid behavior doing that already quite successfully?

The day passed slowly. Kairi was absent because of a sickness. Selphie bothered Sora about his behavior, for she was always curious about such things. Tidus was his partner during gym since Kairi was sick at home. Sora tried to collect his thoughts and think about going about telling Riku his feelings. He talked more and more in order to cover up his uneasiness, and he smiled brightly, even if it seemed hollow and worthless to him.

"Sora!" Tidus shouted as he grabbed Sora's shoulders at lunch. "Sora! Riku's acting weird!"

"What are you talking about?" Sora asked, dazed and confused. He'd seen very little of Riku at lunchtimes, since it'd become an unspoken agreement to avoid one another as much as possible, save for the walk to school. This was a double-edged sword for Sora, for, on the one hand, he was happy to be away from Riku but, on the other hand, he longed for his best friend back.

"I was just up on the upperclassmen's floor, because I wanted to get a drink from the juice machine up there, but then I saw Riku! Why doesn't he eat lunch with you anymore, anyway?"

"No reason," Sora said, miserable as every word Tidus said jabbed into his heart painfully.

"Anyways, he's acting really weird!"

"I'm sure you're just being melodramatic," Sora said, tired of pretending to be interested in things like this. He just wanted to sit quietly through lunch and eat his food. He didn't feel like talking anymore. "Besides, Riku's not the one who's acting strange."

He knew that was the truth. He was acting like a freaking lunatic. He knew it. Kairi knew it. Riku knew it. But he wasn't stopping, he was still acting like a deranged little kid.

Tidus didn't take any notice of friend's answer and instead shook the boy's shoulder. "It's strange, unbelievable, even!"

"Is he okay?" Sora asked, sighing when he was reminded of how stubborn Tidus can be.

Tidus shook his head. "I have no idea! I don't know, maybe it is nothing."

"You can't come here acting like an idiot about Riku and then tell me it's nothing," Sora muttered, rubbing his ear and sighing. "What's Riku doing?"

"He's smiling!" Tidus burst out, as if this were the final sign of the apocalypse. He stared at Sora, terrified.

"Smiling?" Sora asked, dead-panning a bit. "That doesn't warrant a reason to think he's acting strange. Riku smiles."

"Maybe around you, but not around people he doesn't really know. You know this he is better than anyone, Sora. Besides, you've seen how surly and unsocial he's been lately. It's a flippin' miracle that he's smiling!"

"I think you're just being silly. You've seen Riku smile before, anyway, right?" Sora asked, forcing a laugh. Tidius admittedly nodded his head. "See? It's normal for people to smile, even Riku. You shouldn't act like it's a big deal."

"I guess so," Tidus muttered. "I just, you know, noticed while I was getting my juice."

"I feel like getting a juice, too," Sora said, deciding that getting away from Tidus was the only way to ensure some privacy. "I think Selphie and Wakka are waiting for you. I'll see you later."

"Yeah, bye," Tidus said as Sora left the room, some money in hand for a juice.

Sora moved slowly, but then Tidus' words returned to him and his curiosity piqued. Was Riku really smiling at strangers? Of course, this wasn't a completely unrealistic thing to consider. Riku could be polite when he wanted to be, or he could just be quiet. There was a difference between aloofness and reclusion.

"He's just overreacting," Sora said logically, and then he pictured Riku's smile in his mind's eye. He always felt safe when Riku was smiling at him. But he hadn't smiled for a while, ever sine all this foolishness was getting completely out of hand. "I guess I'll go check on him. Maybe I'll say hi. Maybe… I'll see him smiling."

Maybe he could pretend Riku was smiling at him. Riku's smile was precious.

When Sora reached the top floor, however, he was shocked to see a plethora of girls surrounding a familiar head of silver hair. Sora stopped in his tracks at the look of Riku smiling. He so rarely saw Riku smiling to anyone other than himself, and sometimes Kairi, it was strange to see him smiling at a bunch of upperclassmen girls that Sora didn't even know.

"No way!" he said to himself as he took a step closer towards Riku.

_He never smiles that way,_ Sora realized when Riku smiled softly at a girl, _except for me._

"Hey, Riku—" Sora began before he was cut off by a bundle of girls, quick to encircle the tall boy. Sora stumbled backwards in surprise and blinked his eyes in rapid succession, as if this would will the cornucopia of females away from Riku.

He knew Riku was popular with the girls, but his personality usually caused girls to keep their distance. His smile, understandably, must have willed the girls to step forward. Sora felt his heart clench, as it was often known to do when he was around Riku. It felt as if something sacred had been ripped away from him.

Why was he acting like this? Sora thought for a moment before he remembered the conversation over the girl from the other day. Was Riku being nicer to the girls, just like Sora had told him to be? Sora lowered his head and stared at his hands, clenching a couple wrinkling bills for a juice he didn't even want anymore. Riku hadn't even noticed he was there yet. He didn't like it. He quickly retreated downstairs.

He leaned against the wall of the staircase between his class' level and Riku's level. He clenched the fabric above his heart and breathed deeply, trying to will his pained heart to return to normal. Why was he reacting like this? He'd been friends with Riku for a decade, and only now was it becoming unbearable to be near and away from him.

"Riku…" Sora muttered to himself, squeezing the fabric of his shirt.

Why did he feel angry at those girls? Was it jealousy? Did he want Riku to smile just for him? Sora shook his head. That was unlike him. He was typically very accepting of people, and, more than anything, he wanted Riku to be happy. If he was smiling at those girls, then that must mean he was happy.

_Riku's not like me, after all,_ Sora thought to himself, miserably, as he sunk down onto his bottom on the staircase leading downwards. _He doesn't have a crush one somebody he shouldn't. To him, I'm just his best friend, who's acting like a total moron lately._

"Oh God," Sora muttered to himself, "I've become the gay best friend stereotype. Joyous."

He shook his head and fisted his fingers in the long strands of brown hair defying gravity above him. What was he going to do? He couldn't tell Riku, and he couldn't keep acting like this. It was hurting him and Riku. He was afraid to lose Riku's friendship, but at this rate he wouldn't have to tell him anything for it to completely deteriorate before his eyes. They had a strong bond, after all they'd been through, so why was this bothering him so much?

_I want Riku to be happy,_ Sora thought to himself miserably. _I want him to smile like that around me again._

He breathed in deeply and stood up hesitantly.

Enough was enough. He needed to get help.


	4. Chapter 4

**Natural  
Chapter Four**

"Kairi!" Sora exclaimed loudly as he burst through the door to Kairi's room.

Kairi squawked loudly and dumped a large amount of the soup she was sipping into her lap, leaving a strange, unpleasant stain across the front of her pajama fronts. She stared at it for a moment before swiveling her head to stare disbelieving at Sora.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, using a box of tissues on her bedside table to mop up some of the soup in her lap and ignoring the stinging pain of warm soup.

"I need help!"

"How'd you get in here?" Kairi asked, eyeing her friend skeptically.

"Your mom let me in, I brought your homework!" he exclaimed loudly, again, waving a moderately sized package of papers that was Kairi's homework. "I'll give them to me if you help me, Kairi."

Kairi gave him a withered expression before setting her bowl of soup down on her bedside table. "I'm sorry, but are you trying to bribe me with my homework?"

Sora gave her a helpless expression. "No, I'm going to give them to you anyway, but I'd really like it if you'd give me five minutes to explain my situation to you. Kairi! I need your help."

"Give me my homework," Kairi said with some resignation in her voice. Sora frolicked over and handed the papers to her, which Kairi set down beside her soup. Breathing in deeply she gestured to her desk chair. "Have a seat, tell me what's up."

"Riku's acting strange!" Sora exclaimed as soon as his backside touched the soft plush of Kairi's chair. He leaned forward earnestly, as if that simple sentence would reveal to Kairi just the depth of his problems and make rise for a brilliant solution that only her sophisticated female mind could produce.

"How?" No such luck. Curses.

"He's being nice to people!"

"Riku's nice to people," Kairi said skeptically. "He's rather polite, actually."

"No, no! I mean, I know he's nice to people," Sora said, quickly backtracking, "but he's been nice to _girls_."

"Sora, I hardly see how that's strange behavior."

"That's because you're sick and you haven't seen how he's been acting!" Sora protested, waving his arms in the air for good measure, as if his flailing would help Kairi realize the depth of the troubles surrounding her two friends. Kairi simply gave him a withered expression, as if dealing with a child. "I mean… he's been ignoring me."

"You've been ignoring him," Kairi pointed out.

"Kairi! You're not helping me at all!"

"I'm telling you the truth," Kairi reassured. "That's the rule of being a best friend."

"I guess so," Sora muttered, frustrated.

"So…" Kairi said after a long pause. "How long has this been going on?"

"Three days," Sora said, perking up a bit because Kairi seemed ready to help him as best she could. "We had… I don't know. Is it an argument?"

Kairi stared at him, silently imploring him to continue.

Sora sighed. "He called me out for avoiding him, and I couldn't give him the reason."

"What did he do, anyway?"

"He didn't do anything," Sora said miserably, "that's just it!" Sora stood up from the seat he'd been sitting in and began pacing around Kairi's room, fiddling with the hem of his uniform shirt and tugging on his tie irritably. "Riku's my best friend, and he's avoiding me now. I'm avoiding him. He's being nice to all the girls, and guys, too, and he smiles. But he doesn't seem happy. I don't know. I want him to be happy. But I also want him to smile at me again, but it hurts every time I'm close to him. It physically hurts. My heart begins to hammer painfully against my chest and I can't stand to be near him without speaking, but the only things I want to say I can't say in front of Riku and—"

"Sora," Kairi said gently, "you're talking too much again."

The spiky-haired boy clamped his mouth shut and moaned sadly. "God! What is wrong with me?"

"It's obvious, isn't it?" Kairi asked, after mulling over Sora's words. She pursed her lips together and gave Sora a look that suggested to the boy that it really should be obvious, and it wasn't.

"No…?" Sora guessed.

Kairi gave him an '_are you serious' _type of expression. The girl coughed when she laughed gently at Sora's hopeless appearance. Shaking her head kindly, she leaned back against her headrest and her pillows. She shifted, trying to cover the soup stain as best she could from Sora's view.

"Riku's upset you've been avoiding him," Kairi began logically.

"But that doesn't explain why he's talking to all these girls all of a sudden! You used to be the only girl he talked to!" Sora fisted the material of his school uniform, still giving Kairi a pleading look. "He was always kind of… you know… mean to the girls at school. He rarely talked to anyone unless he absolutely had to."

"That's true," Kairi said, after coughing a bit and wiping her nose with a tissue. "But he might be lonely."

"Riku would never get lonely!" Sora protested.

Kairi looked at him a long moment. "Think about it, Sora. Riku's not as strong as you make him out to be. Don't you realize what's going through Riku's mind?"

"No…?" Sora said again.

Kairi sighed and rubbed her temples. "I guess I'll just have to tell you then. Riku did some terrible things—and don't interrupt me, close your mouth—he did do bad things, and you forgave him and I forgave him. But did he ever forgive himself? Perhaps he views your avoidance as rejection, as if it's all finally catching up to you and you realize you don't want to be friends with him anymore."

"What?" Sora exclaimed loudly, looking around wildly as if searching for a way to deny Kairi's accusations. "That's ridiculous! I could never hate Riku! I would never reject him! He's the one—"

He clamped his mouth shut.

Kairi looked curious. "He's the one what?"

"Nothing!" Sora shouted loudly and Kairi cringed. Sora dropped his voice with a quickly muttered, "Sorry." He cleared his throat. "No, no! Riku is my best friend! He wouldn't think I'd start to hate him after all we've been through. I've forgive him!"

"Has he forgiven himself, I wonder?" Kairi asked as she coughed again.

Sora felt a bead of sweat roll down the back of his neck. He suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sora?" Kairi asked after he'd stewed in the silence for long enough. She remained silent, even after gaining his attention. She looked like she was picking her words very carefully, and her eyebrows were knit in her concentration. Sora swallowed. Kairi looked at him squarely in the eye and asked, "Do you like Riku?"

"What are you talking about Kairi?" Sora shouted loudly, faster than he normally would answer a question. "HA HA HA. I don't like Riku! I like you!"

He realized belatedly what he'd said and he slapped a hand over his mouth. He stared at Kairi in shock, but Kairi didn't seem happy or surprised. She just looked sad.

She stared at her hands and sighed gently before softly shaking her head. "Oh, Sora."

"Kairi…" Sora began but Kairi shook her head again.

"Why don't you tell me what lead you to this realization?" Kairi looked pointedly at him, square in the eyes. Sora felt raw and exposed under her intense gaze.

"I… what realization?" Sora asked innocently. "I don't know what you're talking about, Kairi, I don't _like_ Riku."

"You like Riku," Kairi said firmly. "I know you do. You don't have to lie to me."

Why did both his friends not believe him when he said something about Kairi? Riku didn't believe him when he said he wasn't with Kairi, and now Kairi didn't believe him when he said he didn't like Riku (and he didn't, but that didn't mean that Kairi was supposed to know about this!) Why were they always so much smarter than he was? It'd taken Sora so long to realize things, and they'd picked up on it so quickly.

"But, Kairi…"

"Sora, be quiet for a minute," Kairi snapped, looking slightly miffed. She turned her face away. "I've known you and Riku for a long time, Sora, and I know what I see isn't just my imagination. Riku's known you a whole lot longer, and he'll figure it out sooner or later. And probably sooner. Perhaps it's better to just tell him."

"No, I—!"

"Be quiet, Sora!" Kairi said and looked like she was about to cry. "Please, just listen to me! I know you like Riku. I think I've known it longer than you've know it yourself! You can lie to me all you'd like, but don't lie to yourself. You need to tell him eventually. He won't understand unless you tell him."

Sora's eyes widened at her word and a strange, awkward silence followed Kairi's declaration. Sora shuffled his feet against Kairi's carpet, and Kairi occupied herself with blowing her nose into her last tissue. Sora bent over and reached under Kairi's bed, retrieving an unopened tissue box, which Kairi accepted gratefully.

"So," Kairi said, after using two more tissues and throwing them into her overflowing wastebasket. "Are you going to tell me when you realized you liked Riku?"

"What if I said I didn't like Riku?" Sora asked.

"I'd know you weren't telling the truth," Kairi said simply. "I've seen the way you look at him, Sora. You can be honest with me."

"Fine, you're right!" Sora shouted, and found that actually admitting it to someone was liberating. His eyes widened and he felt his heart flutter. "I like Riku! I don't know when it happened, I don't know why it happened, but it's happened. It's just the way it is." He jumped up on Kairi's bed and she stared at him with a strange expression. "The sky is blue! Kittens are adorable! And I _like_ Riku!"

"Sora, you're talking a lot again," Kairi warned, but Sora was off in a whirlwind of emotions. Kairi didn't seem too aggravated by Sora's boisterous display of epiphanies, and said nothing to disquiet the boy further.

"I don't understand when it happened, Kairi, and I tried to deny it and I tried to fight it, but I can't, I just can't! I like Riku! I like Riku!" He did a strange little can-can on her bed before jumping off and turning to face her. He was grinning like a loon, but he didn't care, even if Kairi was giving him that same strange expression. "I've never felt like this before. I mean, with you, it was different. The like I felt for Kairi was different than what I feel for Riku. Ahh, just thinking about it makes my stomach flop." He curled around his stomach, but he was still grinning. "It's such a beautiful day, isn't it?"

Kairi's eyebrows were raised. "Sora…"

Sora stared at her, as if seeing her for the first time. Then his face paled slightly. "Oh, geez. It… it doesn't bother you, does it, Kairi?"

Kairi's eyebrows were still raised, and the corners of her lips quirked into a smile at his question. She mulled it over for a long moment. When Kairi didn't answer right away, however, Sora took this as a bad sign and started to backtrack.

"Here I am going on about it and I totally forgot about your feelings…" he said uneasily, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously. He fidgeted slightly, waiting for Kairi to respond. The said girl licked her lips and hummed sweetly for a moment.

"I've known for a while," Kairi said at last, being as diplomatic as she could and thinking over her words carefully. "Or, at least suspected it. And, trust me, Sora, I've seen stranger things in my lifetime, as I'm sure you have, too."

Sora gave her a mixture of a pained and blissfully gleeful expression, which was a very, very strange combination in Kairi's mind. She watched Sora's blue eyes—the color of the sky for which he was named—glitter in the afternoon sunlight filtering through her window and she saw the happiness hidden beneath all the things demanding his attentions right that second.

Kairi thought over her words before continuing, "This is… I mean… you're happy. That's what matters, right?"

"I am happy, aren't I?" Sora asked, exploring the feelings in his heart. He felt light. He was elated.

Kairi smiled, and it crinkled the corners of her eyes pleasantly. She really was a pretty girl, and Sora regretted the pain he must have caused her by starting to like Riku.

To her credit, Kairi did seem very happy for Sora. "You are happy," she told Sora gently, shrugging one shoulder. "You like him. Of course you'd be happy."

Kairi was quiet for a moment.

Then her grin widened a bit and her eyes twinkled as she looked up at her best friend. "I want you to be happy, Sora. I'll always be here if you need me. Know that."

Sora dove forward and hugged Kairi tightly. The girl squeaked loudly and her eyes widened. Then her face turned a slight shade of pink before she was hugging him back, cushioning her cheek against Sora's shoulder. Her eyes fell shut and she gripped the fabric of Sora's uniform, committing this feeling of warmth to her memory. They hugged for a long moment before Sora pulled away and Kairi saw a world of gratitude in his eyes.

"You're one of my best friends, Kairi," Sora whispered, "and you always will be. Thank you."

Kairi, still blushing, smiled serenely at Sora. "I'm glad you're honest."

"And I'm glad that… well… I'm just so glad," Sora admitted, smiling brightly at his friend.

"You need to go talk to him," Kairi insisted with another gentle smile. She patted Sora's shoulder when she saw the boy tense beside her. She grabbed the pages of homework and pulled it into her lap. She looked up at Sora. "Everything will be okay. I promise."

"Yeah, you're right," Sora muttered to himself, picking at his fingernails out of nervousness.

"Go find Riku. He'll listen to you."

Sora knew she was right, and he nodded silently. Kairi coughed and gave him a weak smile before turning her face away. It was in that moment that Sora realized that Kairi liked him, and, yet, she'd told him to go tell Riku his own feelings. His eyes softened and he approached Kairi's sickbed. He grabbed one of the girl's hands and smiled.

"You've always been so kind to me, Kairi," he said, smiling gently. "Thank you so much for everything."

Kairi smiled slightly and shook her head. "You're the one who's kind, Sora. It's all because of you. Now go find Riku."

As Sora rushed out the door to find Riku, Kairi was left alone with her thoughts. She sniffled, and tried to pass off the feeling as her illness, and not the sadness lingering in her heart. She pulled a tissue from the box and dabbed at her eyes before inhaling sharply, trying to steady her breath and her feelings at once.

"As long as he's happy," she reminded herself as she blew her nose into the tissue. She blinked her eyes free of the tears collecting there and smiled silently to herself, wishing her two friends all the happiness in the world.

---

Fifteen minutes later, Sora reached Riku's house. He stood on the front porch for a long moment, trying to regain his breath. He bent over, pressing his palms to his knees, doubling over as he tried to collect his breath. He forgot how far Riku and Kairi's houses were from one another.

Once he was content with his breathing pattern, Sora rang the doorbell. He only had to wait a moment before Riku's father opened the door. He smiled in greeting at Sora, his blue-green eyes so similar to his son's own eyes.

"Riku's upstairs," he said to the brown-haired boy before stepping aside and letting him pass over the threshold. "He's probably doing homework."

"He would be doing that, I guess," Sora said happily, grinning up at Riku's father despite the twisting and turning of his insides at the thought of what he'd come here to tell Riku.

Riku's father smiled benignly before retreating to his study. Sora watched the door fall shut before he raced up the stairs, his heart beating in his chest furiously. He breathed in deeply and rested against the wall beside Riku's door. He heard the boy inside and he tried to fight the desperate beating of his heart and the blushing of his cheeks as best he could.

Hesitantly, he knocked.

"Come in," Riku said from the other side and Sora's heart fluttered.

He opened the door and walked inside, shutting the door tightly behind him. He leaned against, wondering if he'd ever have the strength to stand straight again. His eyes were on Riku instantly. The boy was sitting at his desk, working on his homework. He glanced up at Sora and only seemed slightly surprised to see him standing there. He snorted and looked back down at his math homework.

"You weren't there after school," Riku said instead of greeting the spiky-haired boy.

"I went to visit Kairi," Sora said.

"Of course," Riku muttered, looking slightly agitated by something. Sora swallowed, unsure what to do from this moment on. He wasn't sure what would happen after he told Riku. How would he react? He hated to think about it, because, if he did for too long, Sora had a feeling he'd lose his nerve and never say what he'd longed to tell Riku.

"Do you mind if I sit?" Sora asked.

Riku gestured to the seat beside his desk. "Be my guest."

Sora grabbed the chair and plopped down beside Riku, dropping his backpack as he did so. From his position, he could watch Riku unrestrained without the boy noticing unless he turned his head. He admired Riku's features and his set jaw. His eyes scanned all of Riku's features and he felt his cheeks turn pink. How was it possible to like somebody so much?

"Riku, why are you being kind to all those girls and guys now?" Sora asked out of the blue. Sora never was one known for his tact. He tilted his head to the side and regarded Riku as the boy stilled.

Riku glanced up from his homework with his frown deepened and his eyes hardening. "You told me to."

"Well, yeah," Sora said uneasily, "But… what I mean is… you just did it so suddenly, and you didn't eat lunch with me today."

"You didn't walk home with me today," Riku countered as he scribbled something down on his homework with a mechanical pencil. He turned his eyes away from Sora.

Sora blushed. He wasn't getting across what he meant to. "Listen, Riku—"

"Have you told Kairi you like her yet?" Riku questioned, still not glancing up from his homework as he worked. To the untrained eye, he would have seemed uninterested and stoic, but Sora knew from the glimmer in his eyes that he was curious.

Sora thought back to his afternoon and blushed. "N-no," he managed to lie, "I didn't."

Riku paused and glanced at him, his grip on his mechanical pencil tight enough to make his knuckles turn white. "You do like her, don't you?"

"Well—"

Riku didn't let him finish, "And you two have been hanging out a whole lot more. You've been avoiding me, too. I thought you two would be together by now."

"What?" Sora asked, and his mouth felt as if it'd been stuffed with cotton. "Riku, that's not—"

"I know, it's not my business," Riku said easily, stealing Sora's breath. That hadn't been what Sora was about to say. That wasn't what he was going to say! Riku continued on, "I was just wondering why you were avoiding me so much."

"But what about you?" Sora asked, deciding a change in subject was needed presently. "Do you like anybody, Riku?"

Riku paused in his writing and turned to look at him squarely in the eye. He stayed like that for a long moment before shrugging his shoulders. There was a long, tangible silence dancing between the two boys.

"You do!" Sora realized, his eyes widening and his hopes smashing to pieces at the bottom of his heart. He swallowed thickly. "So, who is it?"

Riku shrugged his shoulders again and snapped his math text book shut. "I'm not going to talk about this with you."

"Riku!" Sora shouted, despite how close they were. He felt as if they were a million miles away from one another. He forced down his bubbling emotions and tried to remain control over his wavering voice. "Riku… please…"

"As if you don't know who it is already," Riku muttered. "We've had this discussion before."

"B-but, I thought…" Sora said, trying to recall when they'd talked about this. He couldn't think of a time when Riku had willingly said something about his supposed crush. Riku wasn't one to flirt or be overly attractive towards the opposite sex. When they were younger, Sora often joked that Riku would die an unmarried old man.

"Thought what?" Riku asked, his eyebrows arching upwards. "You've made it perfectly clear that these feelings I have aren't natural."

"Huh?" Sora asked, his vision blurring for a moment as he tried to remember this conversation they'd had. He couldn't. Sora felt like he was about to cry.

Riku stared at him, his eyes wide, recognizing that look in Sora's eyes. After a short moment, they softened and Riku patted Sora's shoulder. "What are you so upset about? Don't worry. I'd… you know… never act on it. I mean, I can see that you don't like it. I wouldn't… do anything to ruin that, Sora."

Sora had no idea what Riku was talking about, which made him even more frustrated. He bowed his head and clenched his hands into fists, trying to concentrate with all his might on what he was obviously missing in this conversation. Damn him and his forgetfulness sometimes.

Sora only seemed slightly reassured, but the feeling of the familiar weight of Riku's hand on his shoulder was reassuring and melancholy at the same time. He wished he could step closer to Riku, and feel his body warmth completely surround and protect him.

But Riku must have felt Sora stiffen, because he quickly removed his hand and let it flop uselessly at his side.

"You know that I… or maybe you don't understand… how much I like… but… I guess you don't, I mean, what I mean is that, you know, I wouldn't do anything," Riku continued, looking slightly strained and depressed as well. "Don't worry. It's… never mind."

Sora's mind reeled over the last few days. He tried to think of who it could possibly be that Riku liked. Riku didn't know many girls, and often remarked how obnoxious the girls in his grade could be. He scrunched up his face in concentration, trying to recall any girl Riku had ever spoken to. He could count the number on his two hands.

Riku continued on, unaware of Sora's frustration, "I mean, you've made it more than clear that it's not what you want. And I respect that. I was actually surprised that you'd realized, to be honest. And… you know… I… don't want to ruin the trust we have. So… you don't have to avoid me anymore. I'd never do anything."

But Sora wasn't listening, his face had scrunched up in his concentration as his mind finally settled on something that was pricking at the back of his mind.

His eyes widened. He remembered Riku's anger while walking home when they'd been discussing whether Sora was with Kairi now. Sora could still recall the angered, strained look on Riku's face as they discussed Kairi. Something cold flooded his entire body and Sora shivered despite the warm tropical heat they lived in. Riku took no mind of Sora's strange behavior, for he'd bent over his homework again and was pointedly trying to ignore Sora beside him.

Suddenly, Sora recalled all the times Riku had sat down between Kairi and Sora at lunch, or walked between the two as they walked together, or somehow lodged his way between the two so that he was the one in the middle of Kairi and Sora. He recalled every instance when he was there beside Kairi whenever Sora was, too.

Suddenly, it all made sense. A wave of realization replaced the icy cold and flooded Sora's system with a disgusting nausea usually associated with air travel. Sora's heart wobbled pathetically in his chest.

Riku liked Kairi.

His world was crashing down around him. He stood up suddenly, startling even stoic Riku from his rambling. He stared at Sora in shock as the boy, trembling, started backing up towards the door, his eyes on Riku.

"Sora…" Riku began standing up.

Sora backed up faster towards the door, fumbling behind his back to find the door handle. Grasping it like a lifeline, he stared at Riku in a new light. This explained his insistences he'd just been sprouting:

He wouldn't act on it, because he thought Sora liked Kairi. He didn't want to ruin what they had, because they were best friends. He knew these feelings were wrong, because Sora had always liked Kairi.

But this didn't reassure Sora. His heart hurt, and not because Riku liked Kairi but because Riku liked somebody that wasn't him. He'd come here to confess, and, in that moment, Sora was incredibly thankful that he hadn't confessed to Riku. It would have been a disaster. They would have lost any friendship they may have had, he was sure of it. It was just one big love triangle, and it was tearing Sora apart inside.

"I'm sorry, I've got to go!" he shouted before dashing out of Riku's room.

"Sora, please wait!" he heard Riku call after him, but Sora couldn't stop. He had to get out of here before he started saying something he'd regret. He just couldn't stay here, it was too much. His heart was going to burst. His lungs were going to shrivel and die. His vision blurred.

He ran out of the house, down the front walk, up the sidewalk, and into the sanctuary of his home. He could handle heartless and nobodies. He could handle dancing between worlds. He could handle any unspeakable danger. But the idea of an unrequited love and losing Riku was more unbearable than anything else in the world.


	5. Chapter 5

**Natural  
Chapter Five**

"I thought you said you were going to talk to Riku," Kairi scolded a couple days later, after the stories of the icy silence between the two came to the girl in her sickbed. She frowned thoughtfully at the brown-haired boy. "You're all making this into a much larger production than it need be. Really, Sora, I knew you could be dense at times, but this is starting to get ridiculous."

"Kairi," Sora complained. "You just don't understand."

"Maybe you're the one who doesn't understand," Kairi said fiercely, growing frustrated at how ridiculous her two friends were acting. If Riku were here, she'd be pounding on his head with her rolled up homework, like she was doing to Sora.

"Hey, stop that!" Sora protested as she reigned down upon him in a flurry of female determination. "Stop, Kairi!"

The girl did as she was told, but kept giving him a deep frown. "Come on, Sora, you've got to stop acting like this."

"I just… I found out who he liked while I was there to confess to him. After that, I just… couldn't tell him anything."

"So you ran out of the house?" Kairi asked, crossing her arms and giving her friend a hopeless expression, consisting of a small jutting of her jaw and a roll of her eyes upwards, regarding her ceiling as if it'd done her some deep, personal harm.

"I just… I found out who he liked, Kairi!"

"And who does he like, then?" Kairi asked, as if trying to lead a child through a simple lesson at school.

Sora sighed. "You."

"Me?" Kairi asked incredulously, giving Sora a dry expression. Her face hardened further. "You think that Riku likes me. Did he confirm this?"

"N-no, I realized it myself," Sora confessed, rubbing his hands slowly.

Kairi gave a '_why do I even bother'_ type of face while rolling her eyes skyward again, silently asking whatever Gods may be real to help her keep her patience with her thick friend. Sora looked to Kairi expectantly, his eyes wide in anticipation.

"I'm not going to have this conversation with you, Sora. I'm not going to lead you through every epiphany until you're satisfied. I'm just not. Just know that you're wrong. He doesn't like me as anything more than a friend."

"But—" Sora began, and listed off all his reasons for how he knew Riku liked her. Kairi didn't seem too impressed or convinced. She just gave Sora the same look and Sora felt more and more foolish.

"So let me get this straight," Kairi said at last, after a long pause and mulling over Sora's words. "You realized you liked Riku recently, and ever since then you've been avoiding him. Now after getting some guiding words from your wise female friend—" she giggled to herself at her own small compliment before continuing, "—you went to his house to tell him and are now under the impression that he likes me."

"That's right."

"So why did you avoid him at first?"

Sora blushed. "I didn't want him to find out. It's like you said last time. It's only a matter of time before he finds out. But I don't know what to do. I just… I don't know."

"Your avoiding him isn't helping your situation any," Kairi scolded with a motherly smile tilting her lips upward. "And so you haven't mentioned it to him at all?"

"Well… the other day I asked him about 'my friend' who had a crush on somebody he shouldn't have a crush on. Because I wanted his advice without actually asking for it, you know?"

"Oh? And how did that go?" Kairi looked genuinely curious.

"He didn't understand what I was getting at, at first, so I used him as an example. I asked him what he would do if he found out that he didn't like you, Kairi, anymore and instead somebody he shouldn't like."

Kairi's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in disbelief. "Sora! You didn't!"

"Huh?" Sora asked, giving Kairi a hopeless expression. "What do you mean? Was I too obvious?"

"You used Riku as an example?" Kairi asked, sitting up a bit straighter in her bed and giving Sora a slightly miffed and slightly horrified expression. Sora's face paled at her look, wondering what she was getting at. "He thinks you were talking about him now! And… oh God, that was the day you ran away from him after telling him not to touch you."

"That's 'cause I didn't want him to see me blushing!" Sora protested. "If he knew… I don't know how he'd react."

"Sora. You've got be kidding me."

"I'm not! What's wrong?"

Kairi shook her head and sighed loudly. "So Riku started hanging out with the girls after this conversation?"

Sora shook his head. "No, he did after I told him that if he's always mean to girls he'll never get a boyfriend and that I didn't want to be stuck with him for the rest of my life."

Kairi blew out a hot stream of air before rolling her shoulders in a circular manner. Then she beckoned Sora over. The boy did as he was told and came to Kairi. When she was within reach of him, however, Kairi punched Sora in the arm.

"Hey!" Sora said, rubbing his arm absently even though it hadn't hurt too much. "What was that for?"

"For being so oblivious to everything," Kairi said with a disdainful sniff. "You're wondering why Riku's been acting strange, and you can't figure out the reason for yourself?"

"Just tell me, Kairi!"

"It's not my place to do so," Kairi said logically and nodded her head. "But if you think hard, Sora, I know you can figure it out for yourself. Or, better yet, you can talk to Riku about it. This has lead to a huge misunderstanding that you don't even realize."

"Can't you just give me a hint?" Sora begged.

Kairi gave him a withered look before she rippled away into laughter. She giggled quietly and shook her head. "Sora, you're too much sometimes. Okay. I'll give you a hint." She winked. "Riku thought you were talking about him that day about the feelings for someone you 'shouldn't have feelings for.' Then you started avoiding him and then told him he needed to get a girlfriend."

"How can you be so sure? You weren't even there," Sora said, distracted for a second by the bright sunlight outside Kairi's window. He thought about Riku and wondered what he was doing right this second. He quickly ushered that thought clear out of his mind and focused again on Kairi. Kairi inspected the ends of her hair for split ends as she collected her thoughts.

The two stood in silence, punctuated by Sora's pounding heartbeat—and he hoped Kairi couldn't hear that—and the occasional sniffle and cough from the red-headed girl. The sun cast a shadow on her face, and she looked pale and sickly. For a brief moment Sora felt a pang of guilt for having to bombard Kairi with all his problems while she was sick, and made a promise he would buy her a 'get well soon' balloon the next time he saw her. Kairi liked balloons. So did Sora. But he was getting distracted, and Kairi looked like she wanted to say something to him.

Kairi rolled her shoulders again. "Okay, Sora. I guess I wouldn't know for sure, but what I'm saying makes sense, doesn't it?"

"I guess so," Sora mumbled to himself, rubbing his forearms distractedly.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you here?"

"Um…"

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Riku thinks you're avoiding him because you don't want to be around him."

"Why?" Sora, for the life of him, couldn't understand where Riku had gotten so a ridiculous idea. But, then again, Kairi hadn't understood his reasons for avoiding Riku, either, so he was probably acting like a complete idiot right now. But that didn't matter, because he was justified to hide these feelings from Riku. He didn't know how he would react to something like this!

"He feels like you rejected him," Kairi said slowly, raising her eyebrows. "Do you get it yet?"

Sora didn't, but he figured that Kairi would probably get angry at him if he admitted that. Instead, he stood up silently, muttering a quick excuse of having to get home, and left Kairi there with a promise to deliver her homework tomorrow.

The walk home was calm and silent, and Sora mulled over what Kairi had said to him. He tried to think of a way to make all this nonsense actually make sense to him, but he was drowning in a sea of confusion. As he walked, he saw happy people pass by him, and he felt alone and confused, marooned in a crazy, unsure world. And this was supposed to be his home, his haven.

He sighed feebly as he reached his home, the gate opened to him. He'd tried to ignore it. He'd tried to make it less obvious, but it was only a matter of time before Riku found out anyway. Did he want Riku to find out? Sora wasn't sure. Sora was confused and frightened by the prospect of losing a friendship with Riku.

Maybe if he made believe everything was fine, he wouldn't feel like collapsing at the gate and thumping his head against the wood fence. But, it didn't help at all, and he knew it wouldn't. He'd tried as hard as he could, but it wasn't good enough. He couldn't deny it anymore.

"Riku…" Sora muttered to himself, pursing his lips together in thought.

He sighed again.

---

He knew that Riku had cleaning duty today, so he'd stayed behind. It was a couple hours after school, and while he had Kairi's homework snug tight inside his backpack, he felt no desire to leave the protective walls of his school. He tried to convince himself that he wasn't waiting for him, that he was just enjoying the solitude of the school, away from prying questions from friends, classmates, and his mom. He tried to convince himself he just liked the view from Riku's classroom.

He gripped the windowsill, looking out at his island home. He sighed tiredly, watching the sun sink towards the horizon. The sun wouldn't set for hours, but it still cast long shadows over the school grounds. He wondered if Riku was watching the sky like he was, watching the way the clouds moved forward, shifting shapes in such a natural ebb and flow to the wind high above them. They seemed to be in a world of their own, the clouds.

He heard the door open behind him and he jumped in surprise, tearing his eyes away from the clouds and turning to face Riku. He'd expected Riku would eventually enter his classroom, but it still surprised Sora. He seemed equally surprised to see Sora, since the two had been avoiding one another (upon Sora's insistence, the shorter boy realized with dread) and this was the first time in days they'd been alone together in a room.

"You're still here." Riku seemed surprised to see him there. "And in my classroom."

"I came here to do some work. It was quieter here then downstairs, since some of my classmates were still there," Sora lied quickly, feeling his face heat up and his eyes dart around, solidifying his guilt before the sentence was finished.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "You came here to be alone?"

"Well, yeah, I was just so busy doing my homework I hadn't realized all the time that'd passed." Sora spoke a bit too loudly and he rubbed the back of his neck, a sure sign of his nervousness. He tried to keep from quaking under the taller boy's—just when had he gotten so tall anyway?—intense gaze.

"Liar." Riku spoke so easily and it shook Sora to his core.

"Erk." Sora hated how easily it was for Riku to tell when he was lying. Was he really that easy to read? Then it was only a matter of time before Riku figured out that he liked him, and he hated this game they were playing of constant avoidance and walking on eggshells. Or landmines may be the appropriate term, considering how destructive this was starting to become.

"What are you doing here really?"

"I… wanted to talk to you," Sora said uneasily. He realized as soon as he said it that it was true, even if he hadn't really been aware of it himself until that very moment. Sora supposed that was just the way his mind worked.

"There's nothing to talk about," Riku said as he moved towards his desk, collecting his things to leave for the day. Sora watched him as he stuffed papers and books into his knapsack unceremoniously and clumsily. Sora remarked silently that his hands were shaking, but just barely, and for anybody who didn't know Riku as well as Sora did it would have seemed unnoticeable.

"But there is, Riku!" Sora demanded, his eyes wide. He took a step towards Riku, but then stopped, thinking better of it. He bit his lip and said, slowly, "I need to talk to you. Badly. About… you… and… uh… me."

"There's no need." Riku had finished packing his bag and he held it in his shaking grip, holding the strap tightly until his knuckles were white. His expression, however, was carefully neutral.

"Huh?" Sora's eyes widened. Did Riku already know? Was that why he was avoiding him? Because he liked Kairi and not him?

"I don't need to talk about this with you. I know what you're going to say," Riku said with a hint of resignation in his voice.

"You do?" Now Sora was really curious, but also very fearful. He wasn't sure how he would handle Riku's rejection.

"You've made it perfectly clear that my feelings are wrong, Sora," Riku said harshly, his neutral expression slipping for a split second before the mask was arranged perfectly across his features again. But that one moment was enough.

"What are you talking about?" Sora frowned. So, Riku didn't know about his feelings. He had no idea what Riku was getting on about. They were supposed to be talking about his feelings, not Riku's. Not right now.

"Don't act like you don't know!" Riku looked upset, and angry, the façade of his neutral expression perfectly forgotten in that short moment. It'd been a long time since Riku had been really angry at Sora. "You tell me my feelings are wrong! You avoid me! You won't let me touch you! You tell me you don't want me around, and to go talk to damn girls instead!"

"I didn't do that!" Sora shouted, realizing that Kairi had warned him about what Riku thought. He hadn't listened. He hadn't believed her. "I would never do that! You're my best friend, Riku!"

"A damn terrible best friend you're being right now," Riku shouted back, looking even more upset than before. They both seemed surprised at Riku saying that. "Why do you insist on treating me like this, Sora?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Sora shouted louder still, wanting to pound on Riku for his stupidity. "I never said your feelings were wrong!"

"Yes you did! That day when we were talking together! You told me, to my face, that having feelings for somebody other than Kairi was wrong!"

Sora's eyes widened as Kairi's words as well as his own words from that conversation came flooding back to him. Kairi was right. Riku had thought he was talking about Riku, and, he realized belatedly, it was really obvious Riku would do that.

"I wasn't talking about _you_, I was talking about _me_!" Sora declared loudly, his face red as a tomato.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Riku demanded.

"I was talking about me, but I didn't want to say it was me! I used you as an example so you could better relate to what I was saying, that… you know… maybe if you related the question to yourself it'd be easier for you to give me advice," Sora admitted sheepishly, and turned away with a huff, staring at the stray clouds in the sky, still shifting and shaping so naturally.

There was a strained silence behind him, and he knew Riku was struggling to properly articulate his words. Sora focused solely on one, wispy cloud as it stretched thing across the sky, slowly disappearing. The sun was lower in the sky than he remembered. How much time had passed?

"Sora…"

The said boy clenched his eyes shut and his hands gripped the windowsill until his knuckles turned white. He heard footsteps and prayed that Riku wasn't walking away from him. He hesitantly turned around only to find Riku was standing closer to him than he had since the beginning of this entire mess, which seemed like years and years ago.

"Riku…" Sora said, and then trailed off, unsure what to say in this situation.

"Is there something," Riku asked hesitantly, looking nervous and out of place in his unknown, alien situation, "you'd like to say to me?"

"Well…" Sora began, not willing to admit the big, big thing that weighed down his mind and lead to this entire situation in the first place. He feared Kairi was right: he and Riku really were like to ships passing in the night, completely and utterly missing the point. "You don't have to be so smiley with all the girls, you know. I know you don't like them, and it's not good to lead them on, you know?"

Riku's face melted into a glare, something Sora hadn't expected at all. "Weren't you the one who told me to be gentler with them?"

"Erk," Sora said again, surprised the glare was directed at him. He'd been on the receiving ends of scowls and grumbles, but never a glare as vicious as that one. Not from Riku. Never from Riku.

Sora was about to speak when the door opened from behind Riku. Startled from the moment, Sora forgot what he was about to say and felt his heart jump up into his throat. The two boys turned to see some girls rush in.

"Riku-kun, there you are! I knew you'd be here. You just finished cleaning duty, right?" one of them bubbled delightfully as the two girls from Riku's class surrounded him. The two girls giggled happily as Riku turned his attention towards them. "Let's walk home together today. I know you walk in the same direction as our houses!"

_We're supposed to walk home together, _Sora thought about saying. But it wasn't as if they'd been walking home together as of late. What with Sora's stupidity and everything. His mind still boggled from Riku's words form earlier—his 'rejected' feelings. He tried to make sense of this situation, trying to work through all this confusion and this tangled web of general craziness. But all he felt was anger that Riku's attentions were focused on somebody else. And he knew he should be mad at Riku for ignoring him, but he could only feel anger towards the girls who dared interrupt their moment.

"Hey!" Sora said, but the girls ignored him. Riku glanced at him.

The girls continued on as if Sora weren't there, talking with Riku about that day's lessons, or what happened at lunch, or how handsome Riku looked today. Sora felt his anger increasing.

"Hey!" he shouted again and this time the two girls paid him some attention. "Riku and I were talking about something important here. You're being rude! Leave."

Sora would have been lying if he said he wasn't impressed with himself for saying such a thing.

The two girls seemed shocked, partially because they hadn't seen Sora when they'd come in and also because it was unlike Sora to act like that around others. Usually he was a bundle of sunshine and daisies, but, after so much of this turmoil and confusion, Sora was growing more and more confused. That, and his heart hurt from Riku's glare.

After a pause, one girl said, "Huh? Well, excuse me!"

"Uh…"

"You're the one always hanging around Riku-kun!" She pointed an accusing finger at Sora's chest. As she approached, Sora realized she towered over him. He swallowed thickly. "Don't you know that you're so-oo annoying? You're always talking and talking and talking, and you never let Riku talk. When he answers, his answers are short and curt, and he always looks so annoyed. You're the one that should leave."

Sora stared up at this girl in shock, his eyes wide and his heart shriveling up in his chest and fluttering downwards into nothing. He flinched painfully. "B-but…"

_Riku always listens to everything I say, even when I say so much without ever taking a breath. He's always there to walk with me to school and eat lunch with me. He used to only smile for me. He used to laugh at what I'd say, and I knew that he was always listening to me and only me. I'm happy around him, so I talk more and more._

"I-I can't leave," Sora said instead of what he wanted to say.

"And why not?" the second girl snapped. "You're being annoying. Riku-kun obviously doesn't want you around."

"I can't…" Sora said again. He clenched his eyes shut. It was now or never.

He didn't care if Riku liked girls. He didn't care if Riku liked Kairi, of all the girls in the world. He was his best friend, and he deserved to know the truth of his affection. He deserved to know why he'd been avoided and why he was acting the way he did. He'd forgiven Riku long ago, and he loved him, as a best friend, as a brother, as a… whatever.

"I can't," Sora said again and inhaled sharply. "B-because I… I like Riku."

And the words slipped out naturally, as if he'd been saying it for years. It didn't matter that Riku was in the room, staring at him in shock. Sora blushed furiously as he met the girls' gazes in turn, feeling himself stand up a bit straighter.

"I like Riku," he said again, more firmly this time, and his gaze shifted to Riku, behind the girls. Their eyes locked for the first time in a long time and Sora offered a hesitant smile before looking away. "I like you, Riku."

"Wha-what?" one of the girls shouted. "What the hell? But you're a guy! Don't say such—!"

Before the girl could finish, Riku was there, brushing the two girls aside, and staring down at Sora. Sora lifted his gaze and they stared at one another. Sora froze. Riku's eyes were usually so expressive, so easy to read, so hard to misunderstand, but even Sora couldn't read the look in his eyes, couldn't begin to place the swirling of emotions in those aqua colored eyes.

He was scowling, at least, and not glaring at him. Was he angry? He wanted to escape, and he briefly entertained the idea of flinging himself out the window. That palm tree was close enough nearby that maybe he could shimmy his way downwards and not fall to his doom instead. He stayed, rooted to the spot, as Riku stared down at him. He couldn't bring himself to look at Riku, and he felt Riku boring eyes into his skull from such an intense look. Sora clenched his eyes shut as Riku raised a hand. But, to his surprise, Riku grabbed his wrist and tugged.

"Let's go," he said simply.

Sora was about to protest, but Riku tugged again and started dragging the boy away from the two girls. Sora made a small noise of protest, but for the most part it was Sora following Riku instead of being tugged away by Riku.

"R-Riku," Sora began.

"Quiet," the said boy ordered. Sora fell silent.

They traveled in silence as they progressed up the stairs and, finally, to the roof. The trek up the staircase seemed to last a lifetime, and the sound of the door opening nearly split Sora's eardrums open. The sun was beginning to drift closer to the sky, and Sora fiddled with the tie to his uniform, unable to look at Riku in the eye again. He didn't want to see that emotion there and have to identify it.

They stood in silence, and Sora watched out of the corner of his eye as Riku leaned against the tall fence preventing people from falling off the roof. He leaned against it, his shoulder pressing into the metal, his arms crossed, and his face watching the beginnings of a sunset in the distance. He didn't say anything for a long moment, and Sora's heart thundered loudly—so loudly he wondered if Riku could hear it. He wondered what Riku could possibly be waiting for.

"I'm sorry," he said at last when the silence became unbearable. He saw Riku gently tilt his head towards Sora. "I guess I really am annoying, aren't I?"

Riku rolled his eyes and returned his gaze to the sun. Riku said nothing but, "Idiot."

Sora grew nervous and he fidgeted some more, staring up at Riku, who leaned casually against the fence surrounding the roof. Sora felt his hands grow sweaty and his lips begin to twitch, trying to fight the urge to talk a mile a minute. He was failing epically.

"Ah, bu-but, I know I'm noisy! I know I talk way too much, and I know it must be really noisy and irritating and annoying and obnoxious and frustrating and unbearable at times, but you never tell me to stop, so I just keep going. If it really bothered you you know that I'd stop in a heartbeat, because I don't like you being mad at me, but a good amount of luck that's done me, since you're angry at me right now, not that I blame you. I know I talk too much, it's really, really obvious. But, that's just how I… that's how I… bring you into my world? I don't know. That made more sense in my head. I don't know. I just like to talk, and Riku always listens," Sora said in a rush, trying to free his words from his throat. "It's… you listen to me even though I'm annoying."

"That's why I'm calling you an idiot," Riku said with a scowl effectively shutting Sora up with a minimal amount of words. He sighed again. He remained in his uninterested position, arms crossed, leaning against the fence, eyes regarding the sunset bitterly. "If I found you annoying, I wouldn't hang out with you."

"Huh?" Sora squeaked. For the first time in his life, his throat closed up and he was loss for words.

"You're annoying, but not in an obnoxious way," Riku said gently, "It's just who you are, dummy."

"I'm sorry for all this!" Sora said loudly, his eyes wide. Riku said nothing, sensing that Sora had more to say.

He was right.

"I mean, I know you like Kairi and I'm sorry for being such an idiot these past few days—because I didn't want you to find out that I liked you, but I ended up telling you anyway, and you thought I was avoiding you because you liked Kairi, but, that's not true! I just didn't want you to find out because I was afraid you'd not want to hang out anymore or something, I don't know, and I was scared because I've liked Kairi for such a long time and now to suddenly only see her as a friend and not a girlfriend makes me—"

"Sora," Riku interrupted softly, still leaning to the side. "Be quiet for a second."

"Erk," Sora said, grinding to a halt at Riku's words.

"I'd never not want to hang out with you," he soothed, an amused look dancing in his eyes.

"…Really?" Sora asked, and suddenly the world seemed a little bit brighter.

Riku uncrossed his arms and walked up to him. Sora froze as Riku grabbed his arms. He stared down at him and, after a long moment, his eyes softened and he smiled. He looked nervous almost, but genuine. It was the softest, sweetest smile Sora had ever seen Riku with before. He felt his knees go weak and he was glad Riku was holding onto him to keep him up.

"Isn't that much obvious?" Riku asked.

"Y-you finally smiled," Sora said, feeling as if he might start to cry. He managed to reign in his emotions long enough to whisper, "After you ignored me and smiled at all those girls… I thought…"

"I don't like Kairi," Riku scolded and Sora stared at him.

"Y-you don't?"

"No, stupid. Are you really that blind?" Riku asked, looking amused by Sora's insecurities about all this.

"But all those times when I was with Kairi, you would sit or walk between us, and you're always around, and you always—"

"Walk home with you?" Riku asked.

"Er…" Sora hesitated for a second before returning to his litany of reasons Riku liked Kairi. "And you always hang out with her—"

"—As much as I hang out with you?" Riku questioned.

"Erk," Sora said again, his face turning a bright red as realization began to set in, and he realized just how much his behavior must have upset Riku these past few days. His eyes widened and he swallowed loudly, his heart beating against his rib cage like a wild animal trying to escape. "But you—"

"Talk with you all the time? Think about you all the time? Spend all my time with you?" Riku asked. Sora's eyes widened and Riku shrugged his shoulders. "Wait for you?"

"But… I…"

"Did you really not notice?" Riku questioned, his eyebrows arching upwards.

Sora shuffled his feet and fiddled with his tie again. "I was… really mean to you, wasn't I?"

"Yeah. You were a jerk," Riku said with a smirk.

"Don't tease me!" Sora complained loudly, looking like he was ready to start complaining (loudly) about stupid Riku and his stupid, stupid teasings. "I feel bad! I didn't know… I… I just didn't… I was so scared that you'd… you'd find out…"

"You ended up telling me anyway," Riku reminded.

"And you didn't give me your answer!" Sora cried out.

"Don't cry," Riku coaxed.

"I'm not crying," Sora protested, for his eyes were perfectly dry and he knew that Riku was just teasing him. He huffed, even as Riku's hands moved upwards and cupped his cheeks. Sora froze and stared at Riku, with his expressive, expressive eyes. He felt his heart flop at the emotions there, sparkling in the late afternoon sunlight. Sora realized it was coming and he felt himself melt into those hands. He closed his eyes and lifted his own hands to touch Riku's. "Hey, Riku?"

"What?" His voice sounded much closer than before.

"Do you like me?" Sora asked, opening his eyes to see Riku's face right there in front of him, his eyes hauntingly beautiful. "Like how I like you?"

Riku smiled again, looking only slightly put off by the question. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Say it anyway," Sora pleaded, gripping the hands on his cheeks tightly.

"I do," Riku whispered against his lips. And then he was kissing him and Sora felt the world fall away until there was nothing left but Riku in, above, and around him.

And it was perfect.

---

"So I figured that if I were nicer to girls you'd stop acting like an idiot," Riku explained as they continued their trek to school. The sun was shining brightly behind them as they walked and only some stray, wispy clouds dotted the sky, looking more like cotton candy than clouds.

"That's stupid," Sora declared, bumping Riku with his elbow. Riku staggered for a second before falling in place comfortably beside Sora, their arms brushing every so often. "I feel bad for those girls from yesterday, though."

"Don't. They were obnoxious," Riku declared loudly.

"Riku! That's so mean! You should be nice to girls. Maybe not too friendly, and give them the wrong idea, but don't be mean to them, either," Sora scolded, giving the silver-haired boy a huffed look.

"Bah," was all Riku said as they saw the school come into view.

"Look, Kairi's back!" Sora declared, pointing at their red-headed friend. She stood alone, still looking a bit under the weather, but much healthier than she had in days. Sora dashed away from Riku's side and shouted a welcoming hello to Kairi.

The girl smiled her greeting as Sora came to her and hugged her tightly. Riku picked up his pace to reach his two friends, looking only slightly miffed as he did. He brushed back some silver hair from his forehead and smiled at his friend.

"Good to see you're well," he said in greeting, watching as Kairi pried Sora off of her. Kairi giggled and nodded. "Feeling better?"

"Almost completely better!" Kairi proclaimed happily, flexing her arm muscles as if they'd somehow cured her of her flu. "I'll be one hundred percent by tomorrow, probably. I just didn't want to miss anymore school, and Sora tells me he was getting sick of having Tidus as a gym partner."

"He has really bad aim," Sora defended when Riku gave him a look.

"I see you two are speaking again," Kairi said brightly, and smiled mischievously as the two boys shifted awkwardly. "I guess you talked to him like I told you to, Sora?"

"You were right," Sora admitted sheepishly, rubbing his spiky hair. He glanced up at Riku and beamed at him, his blue eyes wavering happily, reflecting a joint agreement between the two boys. Riku sighed and looked away, his cheeks turning a slight hue of pink. Sora turned back to Kairi and said, "Everything's been worked out."

"I'm glad," Kairi said with a clap of her hands. "You should listen to me more often, Sora."

"Guess I should," Sora agreed, laughing.

Kairi sighed. "Well, I'm happy for you two."

"Thanks," the two said in unison before glancing at each other. Kairi's laughter sounded like tinkling bells and the three almost missed the school bell ringing in the distance. They looked at one another before Riku glanced at his watch.

"Guess I should go," Riku said. "Don't want detention. I'll see you two at lunch."

"Bye, Riku!" Sora said with a wave as Riku stalked off towards his level for the upperclassmen. He glanced at Kairi and jerked his head towards the door. "We should hurry, too."

Kairi felt her heart swell, reassured that she was still included in their world. Something had shifted between the two boys, but she was not forgotten or left out. With a nod of her head, she and Sora raced to their classroom together, laughing the entire way up the stairs, down the hall, and on their way to their seats.

And Sora found himself smiling brightly at her just as he always had, just as was natural for him. And even though he would never have her romantically, he felt an easy, happy intimacy between himself and the red-headed girl. And as he thought about having lunch that afternoon, and be able to sit next to Riku, Sora's stomach did a delightful little flop and he smiled widely just in time for the teacher to walk in.

During lunch he slipped away and ran to the market, in order to buy his friend a 'get well soon' balloon, and didn't care when he was apprehended by the teacher for not only skipping half the period but for bringing a balloon into the classroom for his girlfriend.

Sora only laughed and agreed to clean the chalkboard erasers after school, but it was worth it to see Kairi's appreciative smile when he presented the balloon to her.

He was lighter than a cloud the rest of the day, even when Kairi and Riku stayed after school to laugh at his detention plight.

Life was good.


End file.
